My life's a Wreck

Summer 2008. Driving East on I-10 towards Discovery green park. I remember it well, I took the 59 South exit in preparation to exit downtown, when I heard a noise resembling a quick bang. Shrugging off the noise, I stayed steady at 60mph for another 2 miles when I felt my car suddenly turn on its own and before I knew it I had lost control of the wheel.

From left to right I swerved as I hit the guard rail on the side of the freeway, spinning me back towards the middle of the highway where I frantically saw oncoming traffic (including an 18-wheeler) heading for my door. Fearing for both my life and that of the young lady in my passenger seat, I closed my eyes and threw my hands up as a defensive reaction for what was about to come.

Seconds later, not understanding why I was still alive, I opened my eyes to notice that the cars had somehow missed hitting me and (long story short) we were able to safely exit my vehicle (in the middle of rush hour traffic) and for the next hour, we waited roadside, for assistance, and watched my car burst into flames until it was 90% totaled. {below you see the new ride that came as a result of my loss}

In short, my life was spared that day and for the next few days all I could think was that there must be a reason for me being here because my time hadn't expired yet. I had always heard I have purpose, and though at the time, I didn't know what that purpose was, I realized just how true that statement was.

The sparing of life indicates purpose!

...While we were yet [too prideful to admit our need for God; not seeking Him; more interested in the things that bring us pleasure, headed for a wreck], Christ died [in efforts to spare our lives].
*Romans 5:8 paraphrased

You may not have had a life changing or threatening experience but the fact that your life is daily being spared is vital to your purpose here. If you have trusted Christ as your Savior, your life has been spared. God divinely intersected a fatal crash your life was en route towards and safely set you to the side in efforts to prepare you for the new life He desires you to live as a result of the loss of your (old) life.

God wrecked my life, to spare it. In that He gave me purpose!

Pray to find your purpose, then pursue it fervently!

I woke up like this

A local pastor I know has been doing a series on "Let the redeemed of The Lord, say so!" His focus is on highlighting the wretched characters in the bible and their ugliness; then magnifying how the Lord confidently uses those very things to point others to Himself!


Society has Jedi mind tricked us into pursuing perfection, focusing on our outward appearance and believing we need to cover our flaws and accentuate our assets. This mentality has duped us by blinding us to our need for a Savior...and inevitably, a Lord.

If you were honest with yourself you've had some "ugly" times and days. No, I'm not just talking about those times you wake up with morning breathe, dried up drool hugging the corners of your lips and crust wedged in the crevices of your eyes.  Nor those bad hair days when your pocket book couldn't seem to squeeze out an appointment to the barber/beauty shop. I'm talking about the times/days when your thoughts disgusted you; and if they lingered long enough they gave way to some destructive words. You know those disappointing actions you later regretted but have become so accustomed to that they somehow became deceptive habits.

You know what I mean by ugly: that ugly person you can't seem to live with some days; that ugliness that keeps you from attending church, cracking open your bible, divulging your issues with those who are closest to you and prevents you from talking to the Lord. It's amazing that how we act physically towards the insecurities of our outward appearance mirrors how we react when we come to grips with the weaknesses of our inner appearance. We shun it, then pour our energy into trying to fix it (aka cover it up)!

What I love, however, about The Lord is that He is most puffed up when we admit and embrace our weakness, our frailty, our "uglies". He used the ugliest people in the bible to demonstrate His strength, grace and love for us. And once He got a hold of them, He used their glamour to point attention back to Him.

Paul puts it this way,

"My grace is enough; it's all you need; My strength comes into its own in your weakness.
It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, ...I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become."
[2 Cor. 12:10-15]

I took my nappy head to the beauty shop after 4years of going natural and admitted to my beautician that I had not been taking care of my hair properly. I humbled myself to her control and allowed her to treat and apply heat to my naps. I walked out of there with straight hair and feeling like Beyoncé said, "I woke up like this!" (meaning I'm confident in who I am). I wasn't anymore beautiful leaving out of there, than I was when I walked in there, but I recognized and admitted that there was a part of me that needed the touch of a professional.

Am I saying act a fool and hope for the best? No! I'm saying don't shun and cover up the things you struggle with, admit that those things need the touch of a Professional. Let Him in on the ugly things in your life, He knows 'our best efforts are grease-stained rags' (Isaiah 64:6) anyways and so He is patiently waiting for us to sit in the seat of humility, so he can treat and apply the heat of His power and love to us. Then and only then, can He straighten us out in efforts to bring attention to Himself! 

 

Broken is the new fragile!

If everyone could package themselves, we would mark our box with a large red label that had these exact words on them.

Whenever we move from one place to another, we expect the transition to be heavily cushioned with lots of newspaper and padded with packing peanuts. No one desires to be broken, rather we prefer to be handled with care.

What I've come to learn is that God is not so much concerned with our comfort as He is with our character. If brokenness is what He must use to perfect our character, then its His tool of choice and honor! Quite frankly, He glories in brokenness...

...in those who are 'shattered, maimed, devoid of arrogance, wounded, injured, grieved, stressed, crippled, wrecked, fractured, handicapped, disabled, demolished' and weak.

God loves us enough to call us out. This process leads to brokenness and is the 'spiritual state by which one is disarmed of ones self-dependence & pride, leaving one a realistic conduit for the glory of Christ.'

Truth be told, we don't want to be opened up, and because of that, it prevents us from being teachable in the handiwork of God. Unless we remove the newspaper as a buffer and throw away the packing peanuts that protect our emotions and hearts, we won't allow brokenness to cause us to be desperate enough to chase after the heart of God.

How do I take myself out of the FRAGILE labeled box, shake off the packing foam and prepare myself for brokenness? By being open to the possibilities of failure of our own personal pursuits in efforts to produce God's (and sometimes our) desired end.

No worries, 2 Corinthians 4:8-10 sympathizes with this apprehension we may have when it says, "We are troubled and oppressed in every way, but not crushed; we suffer embarrassments and are perplexed and unable to find a way out, but not driven to despair; We are pursued (persecuted and hard driven), but not deserted [to stand alone]; we are struck down to the ground, but never struck out and destroyed. Our lives are at constant risk for Jesus’ sake, which makes Jesus’ life all the more evident in us. While we’re going through the worst, you’re getting in on the best!" [Amplified and NLT version combined].

Brokenness is the new fragile!

Accidentally...on Purpose!

My supervisor has this phrase "Accidentally teaching on purpose" and when I first heard it, I must admit it sounded rather foreign to me.

She believes that, in the teaching profession, when you have a thorough curriculum and for the most part, don't deviate from it, you end up meeting the needs of the majority of your students, closing gaps for those students who have modified needs and satisfying the minimum of state requirements. Rather than having to teach the curriculum, research ways to differentiate it, implement enrichment strategies all while trying to speak the language of students with language barriers; a good curriculum will do all of that and the wise educator will cover all those bases by simply doing what the curriculum asks (at the least).

Recently a few friends of mine have shared with me some of their personal internal struggles and coincidentally I've been able to empathize with them as I've found myself having faced similar obstacles in my own spiritual life. The common thread we all shared was our desire to please God in the midst of what we faced. Though the questions that we all faced were "why":

"Why wasn't that person who I wanted them to be?"
"Why am I beginning to realize this isn't what I thought it was?"
"Why can't I be who you want me to be in the midst of this situation?"
"Why is this happening to me?"

...the resolve we all faced was the same. When you seek to please the Lord in your personal life, everything around you seems to fall into place. And by 'fall into place' that doesn't mean "feel good" or "work the way we think it should"...it simply means that whatever happens, happens for our ultimate, eternal good!

Matthew puts it this way, "Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added..." [6:33]

Its the principal of "accidentally doing something on purpose"! When our desire is simplistically to spend time with the Lord, learn His thoughts and His heart, and please Him, He tends to take over our lives by removing things (and people) that we once thought were necessary or 'good' and replace them with His own agenda! It's a cause and effect reaction...we end up walking with Him 'accidentally, on purpose'!

We walk into our purpose, 'accidentally, on purpose'.
We bring Him glory, 'accidentally, on purpose'.
We affect the lives of others 'accidentally, on purpose'.

The "accident" is in simply seeking Him, praying for His heart. The "on purpose" are the things He ends up working out in us and the glory we bring Him in the process. So many times as Believers, we want to 'get our life right'. Its' not possible...HE gets us right, once we surrender our fight to get right and let Him flex His purpose in our lives.