"No means No!"

"No" is probably one of the most negatively used words in conversation:


We use it to turn down potential suitors.

We use it to deny services to others.

We use it to refuse being treated certain ways.

My parents used to say no to us (my siblings) whenever we took trips to the grocery store and begged for something that were coincidentally NOT on the grocery list (the list we never knew existed). They would caution us (my older sister and I) against guys who were interested in us, tell us when we couldn't spend Friday nights at football games with our friends or what we couldn't wear to school or church. It's almost like they didn't want us to have anything we wanted.

No, No, No!!!

Recently, I've had various opportunities cross my path and I pursued them all while seeking the guidance and wisdom of God. On some of those occasions, God's answer was a resounding "NO!"

How could I tell? It's generally pretty obvious. Doors close and seemingly possible things end up turning out as closed options. Now I'm sure you're thinking...no door is ever really closed. You just need to push through it until you find a way! Right? Wrong! That's not always the case.

Sometimes God uses closed doors (things not working out, options no longer available or out of our abilities) to say "no". And if any no is okay and deemed as 'positive', it's God's "NO". See, we are so used to "no" having a negative connotation that we reject "no's" we receive in life before checking to see if the no is from the Lord.

When God says "Yes", generally its in His timing and happens pretty immediate or in spite of obstacles being in the way. It's evident through opening of seemingly impossible doors (what would normally not happen for others, happens for you).







When God says "No", He could be saying "not now" or "I have something better for you, just wait!"

"So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him." ~Matthew 7:11

 

"Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens." ~James 1:17

What's the common thread? "Good gifts"...they come to us from our Father. So if He says "no", its' because He knows best and He knows the gift was not good for us (or not yet)! What a promise!! What a relief to trust that just when we are getting all huffy over all of the closed doors and impossible avenues, that He is simply looking out for our best! He wants the "Yes" to reveal his good and perfect gifts!

When my parents told me they didn't want me hanging with this one guy who was interested in me, in high school, I remember being so upset with them. Why wouldn't they let me choose my own boyfriend? Didn't they trust me? I could have pushed past their ruling and saw him behind their backs, but I didn't...I was obedient. I later found out some dangerous things about this guy and where he was headed because of it and I remember thinking to myself, "I wonder if my parents knew about what he was involved in." Whether they did or didn't, I was protected because of their "no".

If my parents know how to protect me from the things I want, how much more will my Heavenly Father know how to protect me from what I think is best for me? That's what Matthew 7 is referring to. How much more is He able to discern the seasons of our lives when certain "gifts" are good for us? How much more is He able to bring promotion, financial freedom, spouses, children, fulfill dreams and so much more?

I don't like "no's" anymore than you do; but don't try to push past His "No" and overpower His will (that's spiritual rape) with your own agenda! Learn to take a different perspective on "No's" from God; if we do, we will reap the benefits of His protection, provisions and peace!!

Unintentionally Intentional

The very first time I stumbled on this recipe, I fell in love with the look of the meal. How could one mix three meats, with a pasta and NOT be in love? The only problem was, I was so terrified it wouldn't turn out right. There were way too many steps involved!

I will post the recipe link below, but not only did it take a lot of work, the prep work was overwhelming!

The chopping.
The marinating.
The sautéing.
Will it ever end!!!???

Not to mention, I had to make a dry rub of Emeril's Essence Creole Seasoning! Who has time for that? Why can't I just use the Nature's Seasoning? Don't act brand new, you know that stuff go hard!


 The interesting turn to this story is, my first batch was a HIT! And not by own words or taste buds. I invited some friends over and took the risk of trying it out on them. Freeloaders are always honest! Needless to say, although I was intentional about cooking and sticking to the recipe, the results were unintentionally surprising!

When my father passed in 2011, my mother purposefully titled his Home Going service, "Leaving a Godly Legacy". I was puzzled at first as to why she was so adamant about that being the theme. I mean I never knew daddy to talk about leaving a legacy behind with his kids. However, as the years have passed, I've seen the evidence of his life reflected in the small every day things. As I watch my own dating habits, I see myself thinking about whether my daddy (parents for that matter b/c they provided a united front) approve. I see my oldest brother seek to lead his wife and teach his son. I watch my younger brother serve faithfully at church, and over-hear him having his devotional time in his room each morning. I marvel at all the ways my dad must have played a role in these behaviors.
Although I'm sure he was intentional about his family members intimately knowing the Lord, what really reached God's heart wasn't his actions so much as His prayers.



God tells us that we need not focus so much on "behaving rightly" before him. What's key is turning our hearts towards Him.

"He is working in you. God is helping you obey Him. God is doing what He wants done in you."
(Phil 2:13)

He knows that when we intentional focus on giving Him our hearts, He will steer our behavior. James 1 states it perfectly,

So leaving a legacy and being a godly example isn't really about intentionally making plans to do the right thing, striving after financial security for our families living right before people. What we are to be intentional about is submitting to the Lord (our hearts, thoughts and will), daily and consistently. This daily dying to the plans we have and taking up His (based on what's written in His love letter to us) puts His plan into action in our lives.

Recently a friend texted me asking me to pray for her. Her desire was that she would be a great example to those who look up to her. I immediately empathized with her as that's always silently been my prayer. I shared with my friend that I wouldn't pray for her to be an example. I would pray that she seeks God for wisdom. He WILL give it to her, and when she makes wise decisions consistently, those who look up to her will be in awe...NOT OF HER, BUT OF GOD!

God intentionally causes us to be an example to others. He intentionally leaves the legacy (financially, spiritually and mentally) for us.

People begged me for years to make that recipe again (click on the link). I was never able to recreate it, no matter how hard I tried. I was probably trying too hard!!! Don't worry about intentionally trying to leave a legacy nor be an example; God will take care of your legacy (it will occur unintentionally) when you're intentional about loving God with all your heart, mind and soul.

Undercover Angels

What if your boss went undercover? Do you think you would recognize him/her in their disguise? Better yet, would you spill juicy details about how you felt about the company and completly be yourself?
Here's the fun part...how do you think you would have influenced the boss concerning the direction of the company? Would they consider you for a promotion? Would they demote you or be displeased with your attitude or work ethic? Would they be challenged to make significant changes?

I was watching Undercover Boss with my mom and explaining to her how this employee was mouthing off on his truck run and really grieving his boss (the undercover CEO of the company) with how he felt about his duties and often treated his customers. When the boss had the chance to unveil who he really was, the employee had no regrets for how he behaved. He actually defended his rude and disrespectful behavior with his own justifications.

It got me to thinking about the scripture that talks about entertaining angels.

"Do not forget or neglect or refuse to extend hospitality to strangers [in the brotherhood—being friendly, cordial, and gracious, sharing the comforts of your home and doing your part generously], for through it some have entertained angels without knowing it." Hebrews 13:2

I've both financed and leased a car before. When I leased, there was a bit of relief when I knew the car wouldn't belong to me once the contract ended. I had to take good care of it, though, because it didn't belong to me and never would. It was simply entrusted to me for an allotted time. 
But the car I financed was mine (in theory) or at least in the process of becoming mine. Granted this car caught fire and was completely totaled a month before I officially owned it, I grieved much over this car because I took great care of it for it to only be taken from me.

Sometimes I think of the people God places in our lives for seasons of time, whether through church families, work environments, school, and even (don't throw stones at me when I say this but) through marriage and/or family. Yes even family members are on loan to us. The leasing contract may be longer than those with whom we work with, but it's a loan nonetheless. 

Just like in Undercover Boss, The Lord expects us to treat those He allows in our paths with compassion, empathy, and love. His command is not to neglect them, not to treat them with a stiff arm nor with unfair and selfish actions.


His motive is that they are on loan (lease) from Him. They may be your professor, supervisor, 
volleyball teammate for a season and a reason. God may be using them to teach you a lesson or send you a message. He may be allowing them to rub you the wrong way to sharpen His character in you.
He may be showing them who He is and how mighty and loving He is, by allowing them to work for you, sit in on your study group or serve in the same ministry as you. 

You are "entertaining angels unaware" or the way a sweet friend of mine put it, 'God has entrusted people to us'. When she said that it made me think of how stoic I can get sometimes when I lose sight of how precious  and fragile the lives of others are. When I get wrapped up in my own agendas, how I treat people often is the first thing to fly out the window. 

What we do to these employees, coworkers, classmates, friends, mentees, mentors, lay people, pastors, family members, spouses, children, parents...(strangers/angels), how we treat them is how we are treating God. Or this is how He will interpret our dealings with others.

"I was hungry and you fed me,...I was a stranger and you took me in." Matthew 25:35

"I’m telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me—you did it to me" Matthew 25:40 Msg

I'm not able to say I can justly stand before Him and say I was the best host to all those who've visited my life. I need forgiveness for how I've interacted in many of my loans (friends, family, etc). I can say, however, it wasn't very hard to "lose" my dad because I had learned during his illness that he was on loan to me. Despite how close we were and how much he means to me, he belonged to God and when our contract was up, I can say I was able to release him (not without much tears, and joyful memories).

My desire is going forth, is that the insensitive and negative way the employee behaved in front of that CEO is a vivid reminder of how angels and strangers are around me daily, will marry into my family (or marry me), will work with or for me one day, or will labor with me in ministry; and I am responsible for how I "entertained" them. Whether they saw Christ in how I spoke to them, treated them, dealt with them and in my attitude towards them or not. And I will think forward to the day I stand before my CEO and give an account for whether I was Christ to them (a sweet aroma) or turned them from ever wanting to trust Christ (a stench) as Savior.