This ain't no cake walk!

My life, lately, has been cray!

I can't begin to explain the struggles I deal with financially, the people I deal with who reveal my lack of character and unexpected family strains I'm facing after the loss of my dad.

When people told me the Christian walk was a marathon, not a sprint, I took it with a grain of salt.
After having been 'in the faith' for some 20 years now, I wouldn't consider myself a baby but I sure ain't no giant either.

At first, Christianity is a lot of hype. The focus is on being saved from eternal seperation from God! Its' about the hope of spending eternity with God! It's the joy in knowing your past sins have been erased!!

But as the years go by, and you fall in pits of new sinful habits and find yourself needing accountability, counseling and extreme measures like fasting to break free you begin to realize one of two things:
1. Just how great God is for loving you despite of who you are
2. Just how sinful you really are (if you didn't have a sober view of it before)

In addition to that, lets add on the day to day issues that arise and the natural urge to fix those issues in ones natural power.

I'm guilty of all of the above and yet the Holy Spirit livin within me has been patient to remind me of several things:
1. There is no condemnation when it comes to God (as it pertains to my sin)
2. God is able to meet my needs according to HIS riches
3. I need not worry about tomorrow, ...or worry period about the needs in my life

Each one of thes truths has been proven over and over and God has flexed His power in my life through them. Of course this doesn't come without the agonizing and mental toil of wanting to handle things in my own strength or the strain of beating myself up over my mistakes. But through each one, God reminds me that He is faithful even when I am faithless. He also used each and every circumstance to increase my 'mustard seed' faith.

This walk is certainly not for the faint at heart. I dare not paint the picture that it's bright lights and smiles 24-7. But I do know that it's a loving journey that I do not regret for one second. The hope & joy I have is overwhelming and contagious. I do want others to walk this walk. But I realize just why the 'road is broad that leads to destruction with many on it; while narrow one leads to life and there are FEW who travel by it.'

Gay Gene

"This is the lifestyle that was chosen for me"
"God made me this way"
"I'm just being who I am"

All statements I've heard from those who have chosen what is known as an "alternative lifestyle". My heart breaks as I watch loved ones try to find love and ease in life by chosing same-sex relationships.

For years, I have tried to understand their point of view and with empathy tru to encourage them otherwise, but in the end I find a few truths to be evident:

1. No sin is greater than another. (All have sinned and fall short of His glory (Rom 3:10))
God sent His Son, Jesus, for sinners...not the perfect/self-righteous. We all have lusts that we give into, so there is no judgement in my heart & I want to make sure I say this lovingly.

2. When God sent His Son, He sent Jesus to save us because He knew our defiled hearts and corrupted minds needed rescuing. Rescue from what though?

3. From the jump, God created male & female. He knew it was "good". But He isn't the only one...his arch nemesis, Satan, knew this as well. And as with any enemy, attacking the heart of the one you hate, is the ultimate revenge; and so his plan ensued. Satan decided to attack God's heart - the male/female He created and the plan for marriage and procreation.
In efforts to attack and get back at God, Satan counterfeited God's original ("good") plan and created his own (male with male, female with female) and called it good.

Now, the world (an organized system set up to offend and oppose God) has bought this plan and called it good as time wanes. Our thoughts are not like Gods (as God knew they would be Isaiah 55:8) and so we adopt whatever futile ideas 'make sense'. No longer is God's will central, but man's will is! We have bought into Satan's plan, offended God's original agenda, done what is right in our own eyes and thus Satan is seemingly getting revenge on his enemy through God's very own people.

Real talk, the plan doesn't take much. When you're dealing with prideful men with lofty thoughts and defiled hearts, we are really chasing our own sinful, built-in desires. Satan only needed to lure us towards it, convince us to bite and before long sins nutrients are coursing through our veins.

Can I blame those who chose this alternative lifestyle; or judge them for that matter? No. I have foolishness, murder, hatred, envy, and EVERY WICKED  DESIRE wrapped up in my own heart.

A homosexual life is only one component of our sinful nature (Christian or not). What part of your sinful nature have you chosen to be enslaved to?

Daily, I fall prey to Satan's lures and my own lusts. It's nothing but God's relentless love that causes me to repent and keeps me sober from wandering too far from Him.

This same love, God expects us to have it when we deal with others.

So, God made us in HIS image...not 'this way'.
Satan distorted and counterfeits everything God made as 'good' in hopes to turn God's people against Him.
You are NOT being 'who you are'...because God has a greater purpose for you than your own life.
This is NOT the life chosen for you...God has a plan for your life! (Jer 29:11)