This ain't no cake walk!

My life, lately, has been cray!

I can't begin to explain the struggles I deal with financially, the people I deal with who reveal my lack of character and unexpected family strains I'm facing after the loss of my dad.

When people told me the Christian walk was a marathon, not a sprint, I took it with a grain of salt.
After having been 'in the faith' for some 20 years now, I wouldn't consider myself a baby but I sure ain't no giant either.

At first, Christianity is a lot of hype. The focus is on being saved from eternal seperation from God! Its' about the hope of spending eternity with God! It's the joy in knowing your past sins have been erased!!

But as the years go by, and you fall in pits of new sinful habits and find yourself needing accountability, counseling and extreme measures like fasting to break free you begin to realize one of two things:
1. Just how great God is for loving you despite of who you are
2. Just how sinful you really are (if you didn't have a sober view of it before)

In addition to that, lets add on the day to day issues that arise and the natural urge to fix those issues in ones natural power.

I'm guilty of all of the above and yet the Holy Spirit livin within me has been patient to remind me of several things:
1. There is no condemnation when it comes to God (as it pertains to my sin)
2. God is able to meet my needs according to HIS riches
3. I need not worry about tomorrow, ...or worry period about the needs in my life

Each one of thes truths has been proven over and over and God has flexed His power in my life through them. Of course this doesn't come without the agonizing and mental toil of wanting to handle things in my own strength or the strain of beating myself up over my mistakes. But through each one, God reminds me that He is faithful even when I am faithless. He also used each and every circumstance to increase my 'mustard seed' faith.

This walk is certainly not for the faint at heart. I dare not paint the picture that it's bright lights and smiles 24-7. But I do know that it's a loving journey that I do not regret for one second. The hope & joy I have is overwhelming and contagious. I do want others to walk this walk. But I realize just why the 'road is broad that leads to destruction with many on it; while narrow one leads to life and there are FEW who travel by it.'