Memoirs of an Abusive Relationship

I was introduced to him
suspect from afar
yet seductive and intense ~ mouth ajar
Wooing and doting;
swag un-parallel
Love and attention,
filling my yearning well

Time,
control,
wanting only me
signs unfold
of wreckless jealousy
"Do what I say!" "
Be what I say!"
No moral fence
Each request
never enough,
growing more intense

Now hating myself,
Indulged in addictions
hoping myself to be free
Embarrassed,
needing to get out ...
abused effortlessly!

Killing my flesh is like leaving an abusive relationship that you hate that you love. It's realizing you've been attached to this person you've grown to love; accustomed to their ways and figuring out that all their actions have been mistaken for intense feelings of care or concernt. Sin habits abuse us physically be slapping us around; emotionally by teasing us and threatening to expose us if we leave; and sexually by raping us through experiences we don't necessarily desire to participate in. The ability to be free in Christ is possible and paid for at a high cost! Killing the pattern feels like escaping an abusive lover. It's necessary and the Spirit who lives inside can keep us free!