The "I wanna ....but I'm trying to live right" STARTER KIT

Let me set the scene: You slept through your alarm and are rushing to get ready for work. Running noticeably late you rush out of the house only to realize you can't find your keys. After several minutes of searching your room and tearing up the house and finding them in the most unlikely of places you arrive to work late. The first person who meets you reminds you of how tardy you are and proceeds to rattle off all of the things you need to have submitted by the pending deadline. Already disgusted by your morning, colorful words flash across your inner forehead and you form your lips to verbally dispose of this person.

Before you spew your serving of choice words on them, let me assure you we all have been there. You are not alone friend. Our humanity subjects us to a variety of starter kits (if you will) for living.

What's a starter kit? Let me show you a few examples.

A starter kit is a set of essential items and instructions for taking up a particular activity for the first
time. So here you see a starter kit for a college student. Essential items that define a typical freshman or sophomore? Netflix to pass lonely hours, water ...well because it's water; Ramen noodles because
there's nothing more healthy and cheap than a balanced meal, and of course a wallet starving for you parents' monthly deposit.

Here's my favorite starter kit:

Now, we have legit snow days once every blue moon, but these are truly the essentials for a snow day (or any day below 30 degrees in Houston, for that matter). All that to say, we all have our own self-induced or culture-taught starter kits. 

We have essential items we choose to implement when there's a problem looming in our lives. It might include curse words, retaliation driven by anger, aggression and hostility. Or if you're like me, the starter kit when your at your wits end might entail silent treatment, withdrawal, ignoring others and thinking rude thoughts as a form of  expressing my frustration. But the Lord offers a different starter kit and even cautions us against reaching for our worldly starter kits.

2 Corinthians 10:4-6 

"But we don’t live or fight our battles that way—never have and never will. The tools of our trade aren’t for marketing or manipulation, but they are for demolishing that entire massively corrupt culture. We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ. Our tools are ready at hand for clearing the ground of every obstruction and building lives of obedience into maturity." (Msg)

Paul encourages us to lay down our worldly starter kits and pick up a different set of 'what he calls 'weapons' (plans and methods). He goes on to suggest that Gods starter kit consists of prayer, faith, hope and Gods Word. These essential items (for the Believer) will destroy our lofty ideas about our plans for our lives, our rebellious attitudes towards Gods way and prevent us from becoming so vile that we interrupt people from experiencing Gods love through us. 

I'll end with this story. I gave His starter kit a try when I entered a new, unexpected season of my life. I'll be honest my first instinct was to reach for a starter kit that encompassed a critical spirit, negative mindset and lips of complaint. And I followed that instinct and activated that starter kit until I was convicted and the Holy Spirit reminded me that there is purpose in every season of my life. It was then that i shifted gears and picked up the starter kit from 2 Corinthians 10 and began to activate those items each morning. I prayed for wisdom, strength and favor, faithfully each day. I went into my day expecting those items to come from God in everything I did (faith). I anticipated results based on His promises/Word not my actions (hope). I decided to love those in my sphere of influence. In a short amount of time I began to see change in the situation around me, but more importantly change in my attitude and mind concerning the situation. 

Yes, we are human...but that isn't an excuse to use human methods to fight our daily battles. Gods mighty weapons in His starter kit are strong enough to face our human issues. 

Follow the ants...

As I sat in the car repair shop waiting to get my brakes changed, I was distracted by something I found interesting.

Initially I was disturbed when I looked down at my feet and saw a trail of ants, after all I regularly come to this same location for its cleanliness, timeliness and the efficient work they do at a reasonable price. It was obvious however, they had not vacuumed their carpet mat the night before, because crumbs from the cookies they serve, were waisted by some customers' kid and the ants had scouted the small mess and began their journey. I saw two or three carrying their own remnant of the crumb pile and it led me into what turned into an hour of watching them go back and forth diligently storing food.

My plans to get some work done were thwarted primarily because the Internet had gone down at the place and so I allowed myself to get swept up into watching these ants labor. I couldn't help but notice they weren't distracted by the busyness of the carpet fabrics or even placement of the cart I had rolled in and sat not far from their path. Why weren't they crawling up the coffee table or the chairs that stood in their path? Right then in there, I learned a valuable lesson about ants...they ARE, in fact, very diligent workers.

I realized, then, why God uses so many scriptures in Proverbs (the book of wise advice) to teach us about diligence, strength and wisdom. These seemingly small and weak creatures possess a work ethic that is worth emulating. I began to think about my goals and the purposes God has for me...represented by the path and pile of crumbs the ants pursued. Then my mind traveled to the distractions that easily get me off of my path which can include anything from vain material desires/pursuits to sin (Hebrews 12:1-2 calls it the sin that so easily entangles us).

These thoughts humbled me...and taught me the ants were making a trail more than just for food...they were creating a path that we, as Believers, should follow!

"go to the ant, o sluggard, consider her ways and be wise. Without having any chief, officer, or ruler, she prepares her bread in summer and gathers her food in harvest." Proverbs 6:6-8

"The ants are not a strong creature, yet they provide their food in the summer." Proverbs 30:24-25

Morning Dew

It still awes me, to walk outside early in the morning and see the clouds sitting low over the grass. Even after for years, having taught the science concept of condensation to 5th graders, I'm still convinced that God's creation is amazing!

The fact that the clouds come down from the sky and sit among the very place that we walk! The very clouds that we can only see when we board a plane and exceed thousands of feet above ground, descend that same distance and sit in our midst in the early hours of the day. Those clouds bring moisture to the grass and become a source of refreshing and growth to the earth.

What a beautiful reflection of Gods heart for us. Though He sits high and looks low, He desires to commune with us so He sent His Son Jesus to earth to walk among us and pave for us the road to live forever with Him. He didn't stop there however, He sent His Spirit to live in us so He could dwell with us, comfort us in difficult times, be our strength when we need to obey Him, console us when we hurt and disciple us when we need direction. He isn't some far off God, he is the symbolism of the clouds sitting among us to shed His fresh dew on our lives for His glory!

Is abstinence even possible?

So often I think about my singleness and although I know what scripture says and I often see my season as a blessing; I can't deny that sometimes I view it as a punishment! As a woman, but more so as a human with urges I ponder on how in the world does God expect me to refrain from having sex? Why would he give his creation desires and then withhold it from them? Is it even possible to be abstinent or practice celibacy?

I'm not complaining, I'm just divulging my thoughts to you. He knows my thoughts and understands that I don't fully understand His ways. And let me say that even when I don't understand Him completely, I trust him entirely! For Him to say "hope deferred makes the heart sick" in Proverbs 13:12 helps me know he gets my situation.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not inclined to get married just so I can satisfy the longings I have...I know that's not the answer. But I won't deny that often times I connect the two and wish I could escape these urges through the vehicle of marriage.

James MacDonald says, "When God tells us 'DONT', what He's saying is 'Don't hurt yourself'." Living in abstinence has been a constant mind shaping exercise for the past 30 plus years. It's battling between my natural need for sex and my conviction to uphold God's command! But at the end of the day, its allowing God to shape my thinking & as a result, being convinced that God desires me to learn the discipline of self control! 

Chuck Swindoll makes this powerful statement:
"One of the greatest character traits you can provide your husband, wife, or family is self-control. Determine to stay strong." I love this because one of the leading causes for divorce is cheating. Spouses get furious when their significant others is unfaithful. But how futile to expect someone who has never practiced self control to all of a sudden break a habit because they've recited vows. It's much deeper than that. Abstinence practiced as a single will have its rewards long after marriage and even when/if one never gets married!

I wish I could restrain from indulging in my desire with my own strength. But how weary we become when in weakness we fail. What guilt and burden we carry when we find His commands impossible! I'm thankful that Matthew 11:30 says I can throw my weakness and the guilt and burden it carries with it, on Him! And even better, that in return He will give me the mind to see that self control practiced in my single life will be much appreciated in my marriage when infidelity tempts me! He will give me the strength to run from (not only temptation that dangles in front of me) but the very strong desires that arouse within me! This yolk, in contrast, is easy and light for it carries intangibles such as joy, peace and protection.

Abstinence may not be your struggle; but whatever your weakness is when it comes to obeying God, keep in mind these 3 things:

1. When God sets precepts, He does so for our safety!
2. His commands are not burdensome, it only seems that way when we are slaves to our flesh.
3. God desires to empower you to obey Him, He doesn't expect you to do so in your own strength.

Big deal and little things

Beyonce made a song a few years ago where she refers to their issues as "Big deals" and "little things" by singing, "Stop making a big deal out of the little things because I got big deals and I got litle things"

Have you ever lost something small like the back of an earring or a contact that fell on the floor? The semi-traumatic experience seems like a big deal at the time even though the item is just a little thing in theory. Have you ever misplaced your cell phone or set of keys and your whole world stopped over something so little in stature? But in essence that little thing carries such a big value that you are frozen in time trying to figure out how to make it to the next moment because you're so sure you just cannot go on.

I'm sure we all have some big deals as well as some things we consider little things. We may even have some little things that we consider big deals. Regardless of the "thing" or the "deal", God comforts us in His Word with these words:

"Indeed the very hairs of your head are all numbered" ~Luke 12:7

and

"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?" ~Matthew 6:26

Two very common scriptures that have very critical underlying meanings. Everything is little to God, so we can trust Him with the things we deem insignificant especially if He keeps up with the hairs that make up our head when our hair constantly sheds. Things that don't even hold our attention, appeal to his.

Lately, I've been journaling about my "little things" like helping me be influential and impactful on my job. To me, a big deal would be getting the job. But after that, I tend to think I got the rest! But no, I've been praying about Him being the reason why I'm successful. Not so much bringing me success, but something as minute as my effectiveness in doing my job. I throw my college degree and training out the window and chose to rely on Him to help me build relationships and make impactful connections. That way when success occurs, I cannot take acclaim for it. I can give Him all the glory.

I've had a few friends commit recently to ask God for seemingly little things in relation to their jobs as well. Things that ordinarily aren't feasible within a district. Yet the past few days they've blown up my phone with reports of praise on how God made it so they could have those impossibilities. I can't help but glow at the attention to detail God showed to their prayers. So today when I encountered some small seemingly meaningless relational and vocational victories, I had no choice but to  marvel at how He paid attention to my little things and made it His big deal!

Why Jesus?

I ate at one of Pappas' chains called "Pappas Meat Co" recently and was greatly satisfied. I had already been going on 6 hours of starvation (1st world problems) when my friend suggested we eat at this restaurant. Having been to all the other Pappas chain restaurants (Pappasitos, Pappadeauxs, and Pappas BarBQ) and greatly approved, I had no choice but to comply. After all, the excellence in their presentation, food and service at other chains only meant this one could't disappoint. And it didn't. When the waiter brought my friend's chicken fried chicken smothered in country gravy atop mashed potatoes, I was overwhelmed. I was already googly eyed over my enlarged pork chop sauteed with mushrooms atop mashed potatoes. My hunger drove me to eat off of both of our plates (and I don't typically ask for other's food, because I don't like to share my food...don't judge me!)

What causes your stomach to growl for meals three (or more- no judgements) times a day? What causes your glands to salivate over the generous portion of pork that the waiter brings to your table? Why is it you feel the need to unbotton your pants when you have fed your face to capacity and you can't even order dessert without feeling like a glutton?

It starts with a void called hunger. A natural feeling spurred by a gland in our brain. It triggers a growling in the pit of our stomachs. This same gland in our brains produces salivation in our mouths and gets us more giddy than a toddler when he sees his mommy coming with a bottle. Finally satiety is the stuffed feeling we achieve when the void has been filled and the gland tells us "that's enough...for now".

An article entitled How your brain signals your body's need for food puts it this way, "How a food smells, what it looks like, and how you remember it tasting excite chemicals within your brain." 

It troubles me that I hear, via social media, so many Christians sound just like the world in their responses to injustice and trending topics. I even catch myself questioning my own motives and intentions from time to time only to find that my own desires mimic those of my neighbors (those who have NOT trusted Christ). Why should people desire to feast on (try) the Lord when we have not stirred up a hunger in them? 

Don't get me wrong, we are not responsible for creating the hunger or void they should have for the Lord, He has already done that. 

Romans 1 talks about how people instinctively know God exists and instead of worshipping Him for who He is, they instead choose to worship what God has made. This presents an inferred statement: people know how to worship, they were created with the longing to do so. God created us to know Him and worship Him. So He created the desire in us for Him. He is the gland in the brain that triggers the stomach for feeding time.

As Believers, its our job to be the waiters and bring Jesus to the table on a platter. He should look like a smothered and sauteed pork chop to those who love meat. To those who love vegetables, He should look like a beatifully arranged medley of beans stewed together in a chili with Spring Pesto garnished with parsley or cilantro. 

2 Corinthians 5:18-20 says "...And God has given us the task of reconciling people to Him...We are Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making His appeal through us." (NIV)

How we present Him is everything to those who are hungry (and they ARE hungry). So when we take a natural vantage point at our approach to financial gain, political unrest, social injustice and personal mistreatment, we don't give unbelievers a reason to ask "Why Jesus?" When we retaliate, treat those who choose their lifestyles as if they're outcasts, or chase after monetary gain, our plate looks repulsive to the hungry. 

I recently did an inventory of my heart because I had been looking at the "things" of others (the cars, houses, positions, relationships) and it was causing me to press God for His hand ("gimme gimme gimme"). Then I read 1 Timothy 6:6 and its surrounding scriptures. I was rebuked because I realized that chasing after financial gain was telling God I did not trust His purpose for my life. He plainly said chasing these things would bring temptations and eventually plunging into darkness. Not having these things, but chasing them. He reminded me that He could bring those desires but I should never forsake loving people, chasing after doing His work and a generous spirit (godliness) in effort to have them. These things coupled with contentment would be a greater gain than financial security in money and things. After all, when I leave this world, I can't take those things with me. This seemingly awkard approach to living should and will spark curiosity in people who are chasing "things" and cause them to wonder, "Why is she so devoted to godliness and integrity, while everyone else is running after riches?"

Why is this important? 

When we love people and treat them with respect, generosity, with no hidden agenda...we create in them curiosity. Why is this person not rejecting me like everyone else? Why is this employer kind when others are cut-throat? Why is this colleague showing interest in me when others are more focused on their productivity? Why is this employee walking in integrity when they could easily steal time and money like others? 

Like the article said, "How we 'smell', what we look like and what people remember of us...will (can) excite them to desire Jesus." But remember, it can also repulse them. Let's be a fragrance and taste that brings people to try Jesus. He will surely grant satiety, for fullness is found in ONLY Him. Our different and often unorthodox approach to living (accrued by reading and living His principles) will stir up this hunger in those in our sphere of influence.

"No means No!"

"No" is probably one of the most negatively used words in conversation:


We use it to turn down potential suitors.

We use it to deny services to others.

We use it to refuse being treated certain ways.

My parents used to say no to us (my siblings) whenever we took trips to the grocery store and begged for something that were coincidentally NOT on the grocery list (the list we never knew existed). They would caution us (my older sister and I) against guys who were interested in us, tell us when we couldn't spend Friday nights at football games with our friends or what we couldn't wear to school or church. It's almost like they didn't want us to have anything we wanted.

No, No, No!!!

Recently, I've had various opportunities cross my path and I pursued them all while seeking the guidance and wisdom of God. On some of those occasions, God's answer was a resounding "NO!"

How could I tell? It's generally pretty obvious. Doors close and seemingly possible things end up turning out as closed options. Now I'm sure you're thinking...no door is ever really closed. You just need to push through it until you find a way! Right? Wrong! That's not always the case.

Sometimes God uses closed doors (things not working out, options no longer available or out of our abilities) to say "no". And if any no is okay and deemed as 'positive', it's God's "NO". See, we are so used to "no" having a negative connotation that we reject "no's" we receive in life before checking to see if the no is from the Lord.

When God says "Yes", generally its in His timing and happens pretty immediate or in spite of obstacles being in the way. It's evident through opening of seemingly impossible doors (what would normally not happen for others, happens for you).







When God says "No", He could be saying "not now" or "I have something better for you, just wait!"

"So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him." ~Matthew 7:11

 

"Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens." ~James 1:17

What's the common thread? "Good gifts"...they come to us from our Father. So if He says "no", its' because He knows best and He knows the gift was not good for us (or not yet)! What a promise!! What a relief to trust that just when we are getting all huffy over all of the closed doors and impossible avenues, that He is simply looking out for our best! He wants the "Yes" to reveal his good and perfect gifts!

When my parents told me they didn't want me hanging with this one guy who was interested in me, in high school, I remember being so upset with them. Why wouldn't they let me choose my own boyfriend? Didn't they trust me? I could have pushed past their ruling and saw him behind their backs, but I didn't...I was obedient. I later found out some dangerous things about this guy and where he was headed because of it and I remember thinking to myself, "I wonder if my parents knew about what he was involved in." Whether they did or didn't, I was protected because of their "no".

If my parents know how to protect me from the things I want, how much more will my Heavenly Father know how to protect me from what I think is best for me? That's what Matthew 7 is referring to. How much more is He able to discern the seasons of our lives when certain "gifts" are good for us? How much more is He able to bring promotion, financial freedom, spouses, children, fulfill dreams and so much more?

I don't like "no's" anymore than you do; but don't try to push past His "No" and overpower His will (that's spiritual rape) with your own agenda! Learn to take a different perspective on "No's" from God; if we do, we will reap the benefits of His protection, provisions and peace!!