Looking in others' windows

In my junior year of college, I lived off campus and walked to a few of my classes. One afternoon, returning home from a class, I passed up a few cars parked along the road and one in particular caught my attention. Not because of the make and model of the car, but because of what was inside of it. It caused me to stop and pause, starring at the contents wishing what I gazed at, were mine. Not long after that, I ended up starring so long that I caught a glimpse of my own reflection in the window's mirror-like qualities. Seeing my reflection snapped me out of my trance and caused me to reflect on something less superficial than my face -my heart.

Much like this trance I was caught up in, time and time again, I have found myself mesmerized by what other people have. It's gotten quite redundant and annoying. I'm not one to get caught up in material things, or so I'd like to think; so I had to put my finger on the pulse of my heart. If I continue to get envious when others obtain things and then throw my pity party before God, then what am I saying?

I'm admitting that I'm discontent with what I have, that I am ungrateful for the things I have been allotted. I'm spitting in the face of the God who sees me (Genesis 16:13), the One who gives "good gifts" to His children (James 1:17, Matthew 7:11).

I was watching the Steve Harvey show the other day and a couple was sharing the pain they were experiencing from infertility. They couldn't understand why (in their words) "God was punishing them" by not giving them what they wanted. A guest couple that Steve had on the show, shared these words of consolation to this grieving couple:

"My husband and I went through the same thing years ago...we felt the exact same pain and as I sat in church one Sunday, I cried out to the Lord, "Why are you punishing me?". Weeks later, I went in for a routine check up only to find out that at 33, I had breast cancer. I was fortunate to catch it in it's primary stages and doctors were able to ensure that no trace of it was left in my body. It wasn't until after that season, that I realized our inability to have children was God's way of protecting me as I went through cancer removal. Not long after that, we conceived."

I'm sure the couple was touched to hear a warm story, but I was deeply moved as it reminded me of God's "gifts". How God knows all things and more than giving us "things", he desires to protect us- that's His greatest gift. He wants to protect us from the temporary and eternal destruction of sin just as He desires to protect us from the envy and callousness "material things" can bring. Often times the plethora of things can distract us from God's purpose for our lives.

It's not so much that He longs to keep "things" from us, but to keep 'things' from having us is His desire. He knows that with character, we can handle 'stuff' and He can entrust us with more when we are good stewards of what we currently possess.

No more should my weak, fragile prayers sing out "Everyone else has it...why is it 'they' can have it and I cannot?" No more should I spit in His face with my longing for the things I see others obtain. Instead, I should look upon what He has satisfied me with and be grateful. I should rejoice over the fact that He has trusted me to be a steward over what I already have. The much deeper thought of what He could be protecting me from, should bring solace in my heart.

Discontentment and envy will always be our enemy, but gratitude and stewardship can not only keep our enemy at bay, but eventually demolish it.

Wanting Chic-Fil-A...on a Sunday

I know you're all too familiar with this feeling, right? Riding down the highway, hungry! Then that soft crispy yet juicy chicken comes to mind. You imagine it draped in a warm buttery bun or dipped in the Original sauce while shoving salty waffle fries down your throat. Immediately your heart races with excitement as you think about pulling over to the first Chick-Fil-A sign you see gloriously raised up high. But then a moment later, you are overcome with sadness as you remember, ...

TODAY IS SUNDAY!


From there you're forced to settle for whatever else because, well, nothing really beats the craving you just had for Chick-Fil-A. I get it, I've been there too many times and as a matter of fact, sometimes it seems I tend to want Chick-Fil-A only on Sundays (when I cannot have it). This is how I feel about trying (in my own strength) to please God. We end up frustrated and upset, only to find ourselves falling prey to our own sins.

In the same way many of my friends have pursued Entrepreneurship through these partnership start-up companies that encourage and promise personal success and financial freedom, I have begun a pursuit of my own. They are fueled and driven to be financially free therefore they exude this confidence and authentic passion revolving around autonomy and purpose. Their goals are set high and their future is in clear view. This motivates them to maximize their time and even practice resilience when presenting others with the same opportunities! I envy this passion, I desire to emulate these behaviors even, but my pursuit is predicated on a spiritual partnership with a desire to live in a different type of freedom. Yes, much like this Entrepreneurship movement that has taken my generation and social media by storm, I have had a craving to experience freedom from the nasty habits that rear themselves in my life from time to time.

Now, while I understand that my freedom has already been purchased by Jesus' death on the cross (1 Timothy 2:6, Galatians 5:1) which means I am free from the penalty (eternal punishment) of sin AND...that I won't be completely free from sin's presence until I cross over to eternal life with God, I do know that I can please God more (sanctification/living in freedom from sin's power) and sin less & less while He still breathes breath into my body. So I finished up my study of Elijah and Elisha (in 1st and 2nd Kings...which is full of amazing gems of timeless truths and life applicable stories, by the way) and was excited to start a new series of study. That key to spiritual freedom is found in Romans, so this has provoked my study of Romans 6-8 (our freedom from sin's control, our continuing struggle with sin and how we can have victory over sin).

So far, I've come to grip with 2 things:

1. I have to look at my sinful desires as if they're dead to me. So I thought about that. How do I think of 'dead' things? Well, I remember when my family dog died and even though I wasn't too connected to her, when I heard the news, I was taken-a-back and actually shed a few tears. But I didn't think too much about her after she was buried. I didn't try to feed her or let her out to play, because I knew she was no longer there. Then I thought about the passing of my father (in 2011) and how grieved I was to lose him. How every now and then, though I can hear his words he's spoken to me, be reminded of him when I smell a man who wears his same cologne and even sigh when someone tries to offer me banana pudding [because no one (I mean no one) made banana pudding like him], I'm no longer calling him to ask for advice, nor am I looking for him to check my oil and tire pressure. Both of these 'deaths' teach me that once something or someone was died, we change our behavior towards them. We treat them as if they can no longer do things for us...because they can't. That is exactly how our sin needs to be treated. As if it can no longer satisfy...because although it feels good, it isn't satisfaction (or else we wouldn't need to go back for it again). ~Romans 6

2.  Trying to follow laws (do's and don'ts) is NOT the way to please God. Let's go back to the Chick-Fil-A sign. That look on Snoop's face symbolizes the disdain and hurt we feel when we realize that heavenly place isn't even open on Sundays. Why the hurt? Because we realize we cannot have the very thing we want. The sign and the place aren't bad (God forbid if someone were to speak ill of Chick Fil A), and as a matter of fact their purpose of being closed on a Sunday is honorable! But the thought of it reveals the inability within us to not be able to satisfy our cravings. In the same way, God's law is good (the Old Testament ones, the Levitical laws, even the Ten Commandments and things Jesus cautions us against in the New Testament).

But those 'rules' only reveal within us the desires we have to break them! When someone tells a toddler not to touch an electrical socket, it only temporarily shows him that that is a 'no-no'. He will later go back and attempt it again, because his curiosity lures him back, yet this time he will look around because he knows its "wrong". God saying "do not..." does not stop us from our desire to do...much like God saying "do..." does not compel us to do. He isn't moved by our ability to keep his rules because He knows we're too frail to be consistent. At some point we will look at Him like Snoop is looking at Chick-Fil-A...frustrated and discouraged. Furthermore, doing all of His "do's" and NOT doing His "do nots" only confirm that we are trying to pave our way TO HIM! This takes the beauty and power out of what He did FOR US by sending Jesus to pave that way. So instead, I must depend on the work of Christ (through the Holy Spirit living in me) to obey. This way, love and gratitude motivates me! ~Romans 7

I remember holding down a temp job in college to pay for my books and small fees. I worked for an intercollegiate mail company. My job was to sort the incoming mail to prepare it for going out to the many places on campus. Well, my boss was a no-nonsense tyrant. Rude, loud, condescending and had  little to no people skills. Now i'm sure her "anger" and low tolerance was never really aimed intentionally at me, however it sure didn't feel that way. Each day was drudgery as I endured an easy job yet with the worst of conditions. Inside, it made me bitter, dull and with little desire to do my best over time. All of these behaviors were contrary to my personal work ethic and character. *Long story-short, I ended up praying against those feelings and attitudes, sharing the Gospel with her only to see her heart change right as my semester ended.

Recently, however, I've had the privilege of working alongside some women (of position) who have a sweet, God-loving spirit. Who value integrity, embody passion and are empathetic to those who serve under their leadership. The character and work ethic of these women fuel my own personal character and work ethic because they too believe in structure, excellence and servant-leadership. How much more have I found myself able to excel as an employee because of these women? How compelled to give my best, not because they require it of me, but because they require it of themselves and thus set an example for me! THIS is how we stay free from sin's grasp. Not by obeying a set of rules, but because of renewed minds and hearts that overflow with love for what Jesus did, can we live unresponsive (dead) to the sin that tempts us daily.

Where Am I?

Have you ever been in a place and wondered where you were? You know, the moment you wake up from that amazing nap that must have truly knocked you out because you begin looking around as if you have no clue where you are! Or perhaps you've gone on a trip with someone and they refuse to share with you where you are going and as you check out every turn they make in the car, you can't recognize what side of town you are on.

Or you might be like me, in a season of your life where you decided to follow God on a journey of obedience and faith and now you find yourself in the middle of a "storm" of sorts. Caught in between saying "yes" to Him and wondering where the alleged 'blessing' is that's supposed to come from your obedience. You feel trapped behind your willingness to blindly trust His direction for you and silently wishing He would just get you out of the situation the quickest route possible. You know it's best if you ride this season out and learn what He wants you to learn from it, but you secretly hope it's over soon because it just doesn't feel good.

I'm there. And yet I'm still questioning "where am I?" As in, what is this place I'm in and why? What is this season supposed to be teaching me besides the obvious? If it's faith, don't I have that already? Can I learn this lesson another way? I found comfort in my line of questioning when I came across a name-less girl in 2 Kings 5.

The story is intended to be about a mighty army captain who has a terminal disease but goes to get healing. But if you read too quickly you'll miss the two verses that mention that this captive who has been living in enemy territory boldly speaks with faith to the mistress she serves. Why is she so important? Because she is the very one who suggests that this army captain (who does NOT worship the One true God, by the way) go be healed by one of Gods servants.

I submit that God didn't cause her to be kidnapped from her country and held captive in enemy territory but that He did allow it. That He strategically ensured she would be placed in the vicinity of this army captain who was prideful and respected yet had a great need. He knew that if she was there, she would boldly & confidently speak of what God was able to do for him and this idol worshipper would seek healing and eventually become a God-fearing man.

Where was she? She probably didn't know any more about her placement than you or I do. But what she DID know was what she had seen God do for her people. What she did focus on was the opportunity she had to speak about Gods ability. She was faithful where she was and because of it, God was able to reveal Himself to a nay-sayer and turn him into a Believer!

You may not know where you are or why...but be encouraged friend...God has strategically placed you there for a purpose. Be faithful and watch what He does...not just for you, but for others He has placed around you!

Who can find a virtuous woman?

Who can find a virtuous woman?

Better yet, who is even looking for one? As in, what type of man, in his task to "find a wife" , is actually searching for a virtuous woman to be his "good thing"? This isn't a rhetorical or trick question. I'm literally wondering whether men are interested in virtuous women anymore. Or, is cute considered more highly than character?

It's futile to imagine an ungodly man even finding value in a virtuous woman...at least not for the kind of virtue that comes from within. But I submit this question to my Brothers in the faith. The ones who have trusted Christ as Savior, who frequent church not just for what it gives but for what you contribute to it. Yes, to those men involved in ministry; whether in a church or parachurch ministry, those whose hearts desire is to seek and follow Christ. To the Pastors (single), church worship leaders, bible study facilitators and those "called to ministry".

Did you know are the highly sought after men? The envy of and topic of conversation of plenty of women who are a part of a singles ministry, book club or female prayer circle. You are the pinnacle of her dream and expectation. When she reads "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart" or "Every good and perfect gift comes from above...", she's imagining this godly man being sent to her. She's anticipating you will be the Prince she has saved herself for or whom God is blessing her with, as a King would for His Princess.

But when I speak with guys who I've served with in ministry and ask them what they are looking for in a girlfriend, you'd be shocked what I hear. I rarely hear him mention her character or virtue. Typically the first few qualities fall under the category of physical appearance and what she can do for him (i.e.: make him smile or laugh). When I survey the gal pals my guy friends (who have walked with the Lord for years) bring around, my curiosity is peaked.

I'm not trying to judge but the comic strip bubble that appears over my head is,

"Seriously?....her????"

What I really mean is "How is it that the very men who are the envy of my bible study groups, the twinkle in the eyes of single women serving in the same ministry along side them...are interested in a woman who could care less about church?"

I'm not saying church saves a person or makes them a Christian...any more than being in a garage makes someone a car. What I baffle and marvel at is the ironic and perpetual cycle I've witnessed time and time again. The ideal godly husband "wifes" (verb: to wife = to court and eventually marry) the seemingly ungodly or random woman who starts frequenting church because she's now dating
him. All the while, the woman chasing after God and serving Him faithfully, in her singleness, looks on while every man who serves alongside her(the very ones she views as potential), doesn't even notice her.

So I took to Twitter with this question. The responses I received (from married, single, men and women...all Believers) were quite interesting:

"Yea, I'm wondering how chicks like Meagan Goode get swept up by Pastors like Devon ...., while I'm serving in ministry and can't get a text back." A.H

"A godly man is seen as a blessing (to women), where often a truly godly woman is seen as a burden." ~A.B

A modest appearance, unpronounced sexuality, and allegiance to "another man" are not high selling points for most men. ~A.B.

Women are more likely to celebrate a man's desire to follow God because it looks different: monogamy, building, preparing, loving. ~A.B.

Ultimately, God knows 'who' (and what) we need. S.C.

God works in men's hearts just like He does in ours. JR

Are the standards of "women in ministry", unrealistic?

Guys like a chase...some who is mysterious. If they feel like they got it all right there, then there's no fun. Basically they want someone outside of what they do everyday, someone who has seemingly different interests.

Don't get discouraged, godly woman, "Do life"...with God.

Is it men (in ministry) are intimidated to by women who are also in ministry?

We want the dude who got his stuff together and can lead us. They want the chick who they feel they can lead and not be put in their place by.

Some dudes just want to know a girl is 'down' and cool, and if they love God then that's a great addition!

Do sisters and brothers in ministry get "friend zoned"?

Are men scared away by sistas in ministry?

I'm not proclaiming nor writing this piece to present a resolve. I've seen plenty of men in ministry "find virtuous women" and pursue them. I love when I see them serving in ministry together and observe him valuing his mate for her character and virtue. I pray that should I ever marry, this will be true of the man who pursues me! I can say this, though with sheer confidence: I "dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly trust in Jesus' name!" So although I'm simply curious about this concerning pattern I see, I don't base my hope on what I see. I trust that God stays in control and trust His plan for me.

To my Brothers in the faith, I sincerely hope you are in search of a virtuous woman! They still exist!

Feel free to leave your thoughts, opinions and disagreements in my comment section!

The "I wanna ....but I'm trying to live right" STARTER KIT

Let me set the scene: You slept through your alarm and are rushing to get ready for work. Running noticeably late you rush out of the house only to realize you can't find your keys. After several minutes of searching your room and tearing up the house and finding them in the most unlikely of places you arrive to work late. The first person who meets you reminds you of how tardy you are and proceeds to rattle off all of the things you need to have submitted by the pending deadline. Already disgusted by your morning, colorful words flash across your inner forehead and you form your lips to verbally dispose of this person.

Before you spew your serving of choice words on them, let me assure you we all have been there. You are not alone friend. Our humanity subjects us to a variety of starter kits (if you will) for living.

What's a starter kit? Let me show you a few examples.

A starter kit is a set of essential items and instructions for taking up a particular activity for the first
time. So here you see a starter kit for a college student. Essential items that define a typical freshman or sophomore? Netflix to pass lonely hours, water ...well because it's water; Ramen noodles because
there's nothing more healthy and cheap than a balanced meal, and of course a wallet starving for you parents' monthly deposit.

Here's my favorite starter kit:

Now, we have legit snow days once every blue moon, but these are truly the essentials for a snow day (or any day below 30 degrees in Houston, for that matter). All that to say, we all have our own self-induced or culture-taught starter kits. 

We have essential items we choose to implement when there's a problem looming in our lives. It might include curse words, retaliation driven by anger, aggression and hostility. Or if you're like me, the starter kit when your at your wits end might entail silent treatment, withdrawal, ignoring others and thinking rude thoughts as a form of  expressing my frustration. But the Lord offers a different starter kit and even cautions us against reaching for our worldly starter kits.

2 Corinthians 10:4-6 

"But we don’t live or fight our battles that way—never have and never will. The tools of our trade aren’t for marketing or manipulation, but they are for demolishing that entire massively corrupt culture. We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ. Our tools are ready at hand for clearing the ground of every obstruction and building lives of obedience into maturity." (Msg)

Paul encourages us to lay down our worldly starter kits and pick up a different set of 'what he calls 'weapons' (plans and methods). He goes on to suggest that Gods starter kit consists of prayer, faith, hope and Gods Word. These essential items (for the Believer) will destroy our lofty ideas about our plans for our lives, our rebellious attitudes towards Gods way and prevent us from becoming so vile that we interrupt people from experiencing Gods love through us. 

I'll end with this story. I gave His starter kit a try when I entered a new, unexpected season of my life. I'll be honest my first instinct was to reach for a starter kit that encompassed a critical spirit, negative mindset and lips of complaint. And I followed that instinct and activated that starter kit until I was convicted and the Holy Spirit reminded me that there is purpose in every season of my life. It was then that i shifted gears and picked up the starter kit from 2 Corinthians 10 and began to activate those items each morning. I prayed for wisdom, strength and favor, faithfully each day. I went into my day expecting those items to come from God in everything I did (faith). I anticipated results based on His promises/Word not my actions (hope). I decided to love those in my sphere of influence. In a short amount of time I began to see change in the situation around me, but more importantly change in my attitude and mind concerning the situation. 

Yes, we are human...but that isn't an excuse to use human methods to fight our daily battles. Gods mighty weapons in His starter kit are strong enough to face our human issues. 

Follow the ants...

As I sat in the car repair shop waiting to get my brakes changed, I was distracted by something I found interesting.

Initially I was disturbed when I looked down at my feet and saw a trail of ants, after all I regularly come to this same location for its cleanliness, timeliness and the efficient work they do at a reasonable price. It was obvious however, they had not vacuumed their carpet mat the night before, because crumbs from the cookies they serve, were waisted by some customers' kid and the ants had scouted the small mess and began their journey. I saw two or three carrying their own remnant of the crumb pile and it led me into what turned into an hour of watching them go back and forth diligently storing food.

My plans to get some work done were thwarted primarily because the Internet had gone down at the place and so I allowed myself to get swept up into watching these ants labor. I couldn't help but notice they weren't distracted by the busyness of the carpet fabrics or even placement of the cart I had rolled in and sat not far from their path. Why weren't they crawling up the coffee table or the chairs that stood in their path? Right then in there, I learned a valuable lesson about ants...they ARE, in fact, very diligent workers.

I realized, then, why God uses so many scriptures in Proverbs (the book of wise advice) to teach us about diligence, strength and wisdom. These seemingly small and weak creatures possess a work ethic that is worth emulating. I began to think about my goals and the purposes God has for me...represented by the path and pile of crumbs the ants pursued. Then my mind traveled to the distractions that easily get me off of my path which can include anything from vain material desires/pursuits to sin (Hebrews 12:1-2 calls it the sin that so easily entangles us).

These thoughts humbled me...and taught me the ants were making a trail more than just for food...they were creating a path that we, as Believers, should follow!

"go to the ant, o sluggard, consider her ways and be wise. Without having any chief, officer, or ruler, she prepares her bread in summer and gathers her food in harvest." Proverbs 6:6-8

"The ants are not a strong creature, yet they provide their food in the summer." Proverbs 30:24-25

Morning Dew

It still awes me, to walk outside early in the morning and see the clouds sitting low over the grass. Even after for years, having taught the science concept of condensation to 5th graders, I'm still convinced that God's creation is amazing!

The fact that the clouds come down from the sky and sit among the very place that we walk! The very clouds that we can only see when we board a plane and exceed thousands of feet above ground, descend that same distance and sit in our midst in the early hours of the day. Those clouds bring moisture to the grass and become a source of refreshing and growth to the earth.

What a beautiful reflection of Gods heart for us. Though He sits high and looks low, He desires to commune with us so He sent His Son Jesus to earth to walk among us and pave for us the road to live forever with Him. He didn't stop there however, He sent His Spirit to live in us so He could dwell with us, comfort us in difficult times, be our strength when we need to obey Him, console us when we hurt and disciple us when we need direction. He isn't some far off God, he is the symbolism of the clouds sitting among us to shed His fresh dew on our lives for His glory!