All aboard!

One of my peeves (and I'm sure I'm not alone in this) is getting caught by a train when I'm in a rush headed somewhere. What's worse is when I catch the front part of the train; you know the part where the red/white crossing guard rails lower and the engine to the train comes roaring by.

This is the most crucial part because the entire time, what I'm really waiting for is the wonderful feeling I get when the caboose (or last car) is in sight, signaling the END of such a torturous wait.

Symbolically, in my life, I've been witnessing this same paralyzing (yet timeless) truth. The irony in the gap between what I know and how I feel and the painful wait that lies between that gap.

The other day, I had to pray about an issue I was dealing with and although I KNOW that God knows what's best for me; I KNOW that His desires for me are better than the things I claim I want; I BELIEVE He is in control of my future pertaining to this situation, I still wanted to pray for what I wanted. And (honestly) I still did. But tears came flowing as I closed my prayer with words similar to Jesus', "....its not about what I want,...do whatever you see best for me."

Why the waterworks? Well because although my mind knew all of those things about God's best, His ways being better than my own and all of the things I've learned about trusting His way, my feelings and emotions just weren't there yet. You see, the engine of a train pulls and drives the speed, direction and actions of the train, while the caboose comes along much later and really has no bearing on those elements. However, we find ourselves very much driven by our emotions and even guilty of making decisions based on our feelings. A mentor once spoke such wise words to me when she said, "Kim, don't allow your feelings (the caboose) to lead your train." In other words, lean and depend on the WORD that you have hidden in your heart, your feelings will eventually catch up later. There is a great gap that lies between the truth of God's word (what we know) and how we feel about it. Don't allow your feelings to lead your decisions. Let truth rule!

I'm not sure when my feelings in this situation will line up, but for now, I feel like I'm sitting at the crossing guard rails of a train, while I wait for God's word to reveal itself in my life. And it will! Once it does, I know that my feelings will get on board and I'll be ready to move to the next 'trial' in my life, only to be tested with trusting God yet again!

~Be encouraged!