When He pursues...

Fourteen years ago, I went on a date with a guy. It was no ordinary date. We were taken to a midtown upscale restaurant (where there are no prices on the menu- just to indicate how expensive this place was). We were escorted around town in a limo and ended the night with a carriage ride downtown. All of this took place with a camera man who followed us around and later turned our night into a videography compilation. It was quite a night! On the way home, I remember my date asking me if I'd like to see him again, on a less "high-profile" scene...bowling. I declined.

Years later, this same guy sent me a series of text messages and asked me to small brunch places, jazz spots and the like every now and then. Although I accepted, when he tried to continue his advances, I abruptly put a stop to it.

Years went by and I received yet another text, asking to accompany him to a basketball game (I love basketball) and I did. But when he exposed his intentions, I drew back and shut him off.

Months later, I even went so far as to send a text to the guy I was in fact seeing/courting explaining to him how repulsed and agitated I was about this guy who seemed to be 'stalking' me. Yet, on accident I sent the text to THE GUY himself. Yes, he received this nasty text that was intended for someone else and I felt about a half inch tall. I was super embarrassed. So much so that I had to call him and apologize for my rude behavior...and yet still found a way to tell him LEAVE ME ALONE!!! Here's the kicker...the next time I saw him- he treated me with such kindness I felt as if I was being punked. Surely he should have flicked me off or ignored me after what I had done, but no! He treated me as if my rude behavior and pushing him away didn't offend him at all.

A year or two went by and I received a surprise delivery at my job. It was a large order of chocolate covered strawberries (and other fruit) along with a bouquet of chocolate covered fruit. After sharing some with my office staff, I sent a text thanking ...yes HIM...for this random yet sweet gift. I was told that wasn't it. I was being given two complimentary tickets to see Brian McKnight (my favorite singer) in concert and could take whomever I wanted. Smitten, yet unwilling to lead him on, I declined. But later I was talked into conceding and we attended the concert together. However, I did my best to let him know this wasn't headed anywhere so he needed to back off.

Now by this point you may be thinking, "Kim are you crazy?" or "What is wrong with you girl!?"
Honestly, I can't answer that. I would have starred at you with deer-in-headlights-eyes because I didn't know what was wrong with myself either. All I knew was that this sweet guy, who has a huge heart and is quite attractive...well...I just wasn't interested in him. I had no good excuse as to why, I just wasn't. For fourteen years, I pushed him away as he seemingly relentlessly pursued me.

Not long ago, this same guy kept crossing my mind and somehow I wasn't compelled to dismiss the thoughts of him. Out of no where it seemed, he began to hang around in my thoughts and for whatever reason, I didn't find the thoughts dismissive nor was I repelled by the thought of him. I actually found myself intrigued; eager to see him and curious of his "goings-on". I was actually more appalled by this new train of thought and attitude than anything else. Where did this come from? Why now? How did I go from 'cold-turkey' to 'fire and desire' it seemed?

I'm still not sure what the answer to those questions are, but I do know that it taught me a valuable object lesson about the mannerisms and nature of our Savior.

Psalm 139 is a great layout of how intentionally God pursues us! Yes you! Do you know He is chasing you? He is putting people in your path to talk about Him; He is strategically placing loving people in your life to demonstrate His love for you; He is blessing you when you don't deserve it. He is ready and willing to forgive your sins and remember them no more! He is in tune with your thoughts, your fears, your joys and whereabouts (vs 1-4).

Then much like this guy seemed to be there every time I turned around, asking for a chance to be around me, so is God- so very near (vs 7-8). You might think He is disgusted by your actions or thoughts, but He's there regardless of you. It's like He's looking past all of YOU and waiting for...well...you!

Verses 15-18 go on to talk about how He thinks of us, so intimately and intricately. And it ends with such a smitten undertone by saying "how precious are your thoughts about me...".

Who can't be drawn to such a pursuit? Yet Romans 3:10-11 says we aren't even seeking God. As a matter of fact, we are running in the opposite direction, shunning His every advance! Sound familiar? Yea, my actions weren't much different from how we treat a God who woes us, daily. Quite honestly, my actions personified how we treat Him. With disdain, offense, repulsed by His presence and constantly pushing Him away.

May His Spirit draw us as it says in John 6:44. Much like that day when those thoughts crossed my mind in a new way- I was awaken to his pursuit. May we wake up to the Lord's pursuit of us and find ourselves not only un-bothered by His presence but desiring it.

Take a look around, then take a deeper look into your life. What evidence of His pursuit of you do you see? Will you continue to ignore it or tell Him to leave you alone- desiring to stay put in your comfort of singleness (not needing Him, afraid of "religion" or unbelief)? Or will you accept His advances and engage in a relationship with Him by trusting His Son Jesus as your pardon for sin? He's knocking on the door of your heart (Rev 3:20)- will you let Him in?

What about YOU, my friend- who HAS accepted Jesus as Savior? He's still pursuing you- now He desires Lordship in your life. Yes, He still chases your heart too. Desiring you to frequently seek forgiveness and repentance for the times we fall prey to our flesh daily. He's woo-ing us to spend consistent time with Him in His love letter (the bible) (Psalm 5:3). Are you smitten by His pursuit!?

What a beautiful challenge for both you and I! To know the Creator of the World, intentionally and intimately pursues us. Let's not push Him away!

When He pursues...

Fourteen years ago, I went on a date with a guy. It was no ordinary date. We were taken to a midtown upscale restaurant (where there are no prices on the menu- just to indicate how expensive this place was). We were escorted around town in a limo and ended the night with a carriage ride downtown. All of this took place with a camera man who followed us around and later turned our night into a videography compilation. It was quite a night! On the way home, I remember my date asking me if I'd like to see him again, on a less "high-profile" scene...bowling. I declined.

Years later, this same guy sent me a series of text messages and asked me to small brunch places, jazz spots and the like every now and then. Although I accepted, when he tried to continue his advances, I abruptly put a stop to it.

Years went by and I received yet another text, asking to accompany him to a basketball game (I love basketball) and I did. But when he exposed his intentions, I drew back and shut him off.

Months later, I even went so far as to send a text to the guy I was in fact seeing/courting explaining to him how repulsed and agitated I was about this guy who seemed to be 'stalking' me. Yet, on accident I sent the text to THE GUY himself. Yes, he received this nasty text that was intended for someone else and I felt about a half inch tall. I was super embarrassed. So much so that I had to call him and apologize for my rude behavior...and yet still found a way to tell him LEAVE ME ALONE!!! Here's the kicker...the next time I saw him- he treated me with such kindness I felt as if I was being punked. Surely he should have flicked me off or ignored me after what I had done, but no! He treated me as if my rude behavior and pushing him away didn't offend him at all.

A year or two went by and I received a surprise delivery at my job. It was a large order of chocolate covered strawberries (and other fruit) along with a bouquet of chocolate covered fruit. After sharing some with my office staff, I sent a text thanking ...yes HIM...for this random yet sweet gift. I was told that wasn't it. I was being given two complimentary tickets to see Brian McKnight (my favorite singer) in concert and could take whomever I wanted. Smitten, yet unwilling to lead him on, I declined. But later I was talked into conceding and we attended the concert together. However, I did my best to let him know this wasn't headed anywhere so he needed to back off.

Now by this point you may be thinking, "Kim are you crazy?" or "What is wrong with you girl!?"
Honestly, I can't answer that. I would have starred at you with deer-in-headlights-eyes because I didn't know what was wrong with myself either. All I knew was that this sweet guy, who has a huge heart and is quite attractive...well...I just wasn't interested in him. I had no good excuse as to why, I just wasn't. For fourteen years, I pushed him away as he seemingly relentlessly pursued me.

Not long ago, this same guy kept crossing my mind and somehow I wasn't compelled to dismiss the thoughts of him. Out of no where it seemed, he began to hang around in my thoughts and for whatever reason, I didn't find the thoughts dismissive nor was I repelled by the thought of him. I actually found myself intrigued; eager to see him and curious of his "goings-on". I was actually more appalled by this new train of thought and attitude than anything else. Where did this come from? Why now? How did I go from 'cold-turkey' to 'fire and desire' it seemed?

I'm still not sure what the answer to those questions are, but I do know that it taught me a valuable object lesson about the mannerisms and nature of our Savior.

Psalm 139 is a great layout of how intentionally God pursues us! Yes you! Do you know He is chasing you? He is putting people in your path to talk about Him; He is strategically placing loving people in your life to demonstrate His love for you; He is blessing you when you don't deserve it. He is ready and willing to forgive your sins and remember them no more! He is in tune with your thoughts, your fears, your joys and whereabouts (vs 1-4).

Then much like this guy seemed to be there every time I turned around, asking for a chance to be around me, so is God- so very near (vs 7-8). You might think He is disgusted by your actions or thoughts, but He's there regardless of you. It's like He's looking past all of YOU and waiting for...well...you!

Verses 15-18 go on to talk about how He thinks of us, so intimately and intricately. And it ends with such a smitten undertone by saying "how precious are your thoughts about me...".

Who can't be drawn to such a pursuit? Yet Romans 3:10-11 says we aren't even seeking God. As a matter of fact, we are running in the opposite direction, shunning His every advance! Sound familiar? Yea, my actions weren't much different from how we treat a God who woes us, daily. Quite honestly, my actions personified how we treat Him. With disdain, offense, repulsed by His presence and constantly pushing Him away.

May His Spirit draw us as it says in John 6:44. Much like that day when those thoughts crossed my mind in a new way- I was awaken to his pursuit. May we wake up to the Lord's pursuit of us and find ourselves not only un-bothered by His presence but desiring it.

Take a look around, then take a deeper look into your life. What evidence of His pursuit of you do you see? Will you continue to ignore it or tell Him to leave you alone- desiring to stay put in your comfort of singleness (not needing Him, afraid of "religion" or unbelief)? Or will you accept His advances and engage in a relationship with Him by trusting His Son Jesus as your pardon for sin? He's knocking on the door of your heart (Rev 3:20)- will you let Him in?

What about YOU, my friend- who HAS accepted Jesus as Savior? He's still pursuing you- now He desires Lordship in your life. Yes, He still chases your heart too. Desiring you to frequently seek forgiveness and repentance for the times we fall prey to our flesh daily. He's woo-ing us to spend consistent time with Him in His love letter (the bible) (Psalm 5:3). Are you smitten by His pursuit!?

What a beautiful challenge for both you and I! To know the Creator of the World, intentionally and intimately pursues us. Let's not push Him away!

Our Tell-Tale Hearts

Many of you are familiar with Edgar Allen Poe's "A Tell-Tale Heart" short story. Perhaps it was a mandatory read in high school as it was for me. The story tells of a murder committed that one feels good about until he realizes his guilt beating heavy like a heart within him. A guilt that reveals his secret.

I'm saddened by the results of this election. However the results I'm mournfully reflecting on aren't those produced by electoral or popular votes; by results what I'm referring to is the heart of Believers that has been revealed by the words shared on social media during this time. This heart has beat loudly up and down my timeline for months. And finally last night and this morning, the beating got so loud, I could barely take it. [Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks]

We are the Ones chosen by God, redeemed to not only look LIKE Him but to reflect Him so much that we sound and react differently than the world does. So what did non believers say of this election? What were their responses during the debates? Did we agree and add to their thoughts? Could they tell us apart from them? Or were we like the man in Tell-Tale heart, proudly compiling our thoughts and profoundly composing words to articulate those thoughts in hopes to be heard and deemed "woke"!?

I understand the need to "stay woke"; in today's society that's highly esteemed and I'm sure to some degree God even advices we not be naive but where does our carnal knowledge ("wokeness" if your will) submit to our Spiritual understanding? Should our hearts (full of Christs love, overflowing with compassion and hope) beat like theirs (ones searching for hope and yet lacking it)?

Months ago I was led to study 1 & 2 Kings. Not from a cerebral standpoint but just because I tend to find nuggets to apply to my life in the New Testament and I was curious as to what the Old had to offer. I was amazed daily as I read chunk by chunk of Kings who "did what was evil in Gods sight..." and learned several subtle yet relevant truths hidden in those enticing stories. I was floored at the applicable lessons I could learn and apply to my life today, from ancient history. One of the biggest themes was how God allowed so much (that He didn't agree with) in efforts to teach His prophets and people who HE is and what He's capable of.

Book/chapter      King                                           Prophet
1 Kings 11          King Rehoboam (vs 15) ...        Shemaiah
1 Kings 16          King Ahab (17:1)...   Elijah, Elisha & Micaiah

2 Kings 3            King Joram (vs 2) ...                  Elijah
2 Kings 8            King Jehoram (vs 19)...             Elisha

Each one of these Kings (and countless more...seriously there's a separate book of accounts of all the Kings that reigned over Israel and Judah for hundreds of years) were notorious for their evil and yet in the verses listed in parenthesis, it was noted that God allowed their reign for His purpose! Furthermore what other purposes surrounded both chapters? The notion that God sent His messengers to look, sound and act differently than those who didn't respect God and He purposes for them to speak of Him and for Him in the midst of these rulers.

Regardless of how you feel about the candidates, the stories/evidence shared about them or even what you may know to be true...doesn't negate that anyone elected (whether in time past or future) was (and will be) within Gods knowledge and will (perfect or permissive). Scripture was written to teach us that.

This realization should comfort us and cause us to speak both encouragement and hope rather than negative (albeit truths) about parties. The truths nations (Gods people) were subjected to for years and often with back to back reigns of harsh rulers, didn't change the purpose God had for His people. Who God allows to reign over us is in His hands and for His purpose. This too was illustrated thousands of years ago, for our example-for nothing new exists under the sun.

[The Kings heart is like a stream of water directed by the Lord; He turns it wherever He pleases]

Seek Him for that purpose. May the Lord extend grace to us as we learn to extend it towards others. May He empower us to be a light in His calculated darkness. May this be an opportunity for the lost to see a difference in us, so they find Him!

References: Prov 21:1
Isaiah 10:5-8
Luke 6:45

No lotion needed-keeping my knees dirty!

When I tell you, I'm learning to just stay down on my knees? Yal it's too real in these streets. I find myself needing to pray about everything! And I do mean EVERY.THING!!!!

For those who are old southern baptist. Yal remember deacons' devotion during church service? It was the time when the deacons gathered at the front of the church in those 4-5 chairs and sang hymns that no one really knew the words to like "Guide me oh Thy great Jehovah, Pilgrim through this barren land" (some of yal didn't even know THAT'S what they were saying)

And the response back sounded something like "I-iiii-iiiiiiiiiii, meeeeeeeee----oooooo-vahhhhhh" (They were actually repeating what was said in the first phrase). Anywho, then after that song and another one, one deacon would slightly get out of his chair and easily lean into a kneeling position with his hand on his forehead and belt out this prayer as if from no where. Leaving you like "oh, we praying now? When did the song end?"

Well then he'd conclude his prayer (where he generally prayed the exact same prayer as last Sunday in the exact same format, but no shade) and sit back in his chair as we collectively entered another song.

My point is this, his prayer ended, he got up and sat back in his chair and service went on. I am realizing that my life is a lot like that. I may pray in the shower or on the way to work, for my day. I close my eyes momentarily to bless my food; I might even possibly pray for someone as I'm going through my day if I happen to see they're having a rough one. Then of course I say a sort of "good-night" flirty prayer to the Lord as I lay down just thanking Him for the day and sharing with him some of my woes. And when 1 Thessalonians 5:17 says "Pray without ceasing", I can feel a super size check off on that scripture because I feel as if I have done just that! I have prayed about as much as my mind can stop to do so or can focus long enough to engage in a conversation with God.

But check this recent reality out...I have uncovered that THAT much prayer is way too little. Now i'm not telling you that your prayer life is falling short of God's expectations; I'm saying that I'm realizing I'm more focused on whether I've talked to God than the fact that I need Him (which evokes random unplanned conversations with Him).

Back in college, I had this mundane job that its safe to say I "hated'. But work was work. I had no problem finding something to complain to my boyfriend, at the time, about as I was headed back to my dorm. Possibly the worst place I've ever worked. But as I look back some 16 years later over the jobs I've had, I can probably say that I've always found SOMETHING wrong with each and every one of them. I'd even venture to say the same thing about every relationship I've been in, every person I've either befriended or maintained an 'associate' relationship with. I'm certain each car I've had gave me some issue, each bill I've acquired was a nuisance, and so on and so on.

Here's my point. Every situation, job, relationship, child, material possession we obtain presents opportunities for us to pray. Each and every one (no matter how "good" they are), will have something complain-worthy. While venting is often necessary, it errors on the side of negative energy and falls in the category of "Philippians 2:14's 'Do everything without complaining and grumbling'" if it's not coupled with and covered in prayer.

If we ever (like the deacon) "Get up" from praying, the posture of our hearts becomes prideful and presents the opportunity for evil (hate, bitterness, spiteful actions and more). I've witnessed all of these things lay hold to my heart. Now I see that:
>for each concern-pray
>for every "I can't believe this is happening..."-pray
>for every complaint that bubbles up- pray
>every time I'd rather quit-pray
>every time I wanna confront (or retreat)- pray

You get the picture. Nothing is 100% peachy. No job is the perfect job...no relationship is the perfect relationship, no situation will be perfect--prayer is needed to keep a peaceful heart and proper perspective. Perhaps the deacons were onto something when they sang "...guide me, Lord, I'm passing through this BARREN land..."
PRAYER will in fact keep us moving when situations tempt/cause us to pause.

God's promises can shape our posture

Years ago, I visited a local, Cajun Restaurant that had a high profile for it's alligator and various seafood platters. It was my first time, so you can imagine I was a bit excited mixed with some hesitations (as I am not easily inclined to step outside of my routines to try new things). I remember my friends pressuring me to not only try crawfish (which is a huge thing in the south), but to also 'suck the head' of the crawfish for it's renowned juices!!

As my platter was delivered, my glands filled with its own juices and I began my first "adventure" with crawfish. Being a crawfish peeling virgin, I slowly took away the hard exterior and with feeble hands pulled away the tail, breaking it into pieces (as impossible as that is). The meat was tasty and by my third or fourth crawfish, I got a tad bit quicker. It wasn't long before my friends had reminded me that I needed to suck the head as "that was the BEST part".

So I accepted the challenge (sidenote: I'm not sure what got into me that night, because I'm not that easily persuaded when it comes to new food). But I remember staring the crawfish in its beady eyes (as if to prep him for my attack and plead for him to be forgiving) and finally turned his head around to the exposed portion. I, in fear, stared into the cave like head and thought "how am I supposed to get juice out of this thing without ingesting what looked like brains to me?". I snapped out of my fearful trance by a friend saying "Kim, just do it!" And so I did. I closed my eyes, raised the head to my mouth, stuck my tongue into the cavity and inhaled its juices. I'm sure my putrid face told it all as I coughed and frowned and coughed some more. My friends must have had the time of their lives at my expense that night, because they were laughing HARD!

Well as harrowing as that experience was for me, I had to admit the juices were everything they promised it would be! However, less than 5 hours later, I found myself bent over the toilet in the comfort of my own apartment and unable to peel myself away from it to return to sleep. For hours, I sat on the rug that hugged my toilet, and I myself, hugged the seat prepared for the next unexpected rounds of regurgitation. A series of episodes that occurred for at least the next few hours.

Something I ingested, took into my system was able to control and cripple my posture. What I welcomed into me, shaped how I moved (or didn't move) for a period of time in my life.

Let me say this, spending time in church might help us know "of" God's Word, it might even aid in keeping us in awe of how 'sacred' His Word is. Spending time listening to church songs (contemporary Christian and even gospel) may lift you in difficult times and feel 'good' for some time while you're behind pews swaying along with the audience and praise team. Hanging around "Christian" people or church people is no doubt healthy for the growing Believer (1 Corinthians 15:33 7 Psalm 1) and listening to audio sermons or podcasts absolutely have their place in reminding our souls of the truths we know.

But, dear sisters and brothers in Christ, nothing compares to studying the Word of God for ourselves. Knowing God's promises in an intimate way most assuredly comes from intentionally making time to read His Word, digest it, rehearse it, memorize it and pondering upon it when necessary! His sweet, compassionate, gentle and yet stern, correcting and redeeming words and promises are the key to His heart!

Yes, a direct result of ingesting God's Word, taking it into our minds and letting it stew and marinate there causes it to trickle into our hearts. This ingesting has the same affect on us, that the crawfish had on me; meaning the act of taking in His Word can't help but affect our posture before Him. A posture in our lives, that reflects His truths.

Here are three POSTURES, right off the top of my head, that I've witnessed in my own life be affected directly by God's Word:

1. Pride to Humility
Many people can recite God's Word; but a person who is convicted by it and and willingly allows it to change them, will be someone who speaks phrases laced in humility. Their lives won't be about themselves, but increasingly and overwhelmingly about others. Their lives request no praise or spotlight; they're satisfied never being acknowledged for what they lovingly do for others.

2. Condemning to Forgiving
It's completely hypocritical to verbally admit Christ as your Savior and yet hold grudges, demean and purposefully condemn others or not be willing to forgive. This is no overnight quality, but one who is proactively learning of God's thoughts, actions and posture before us as it relates to OUR SINS, can't help but be so humbled by His forgiveness and mercy. This truth and reality bleeds and seeps through our pores when we interact with others. We look for chances to show others mercy and are quick to forgive understanding that our debt was too large to be canceled, yet it was!!!!

3. Stingy to Generous
God's Word is bursting with not only His generosity to us in His qualities like grace and love, but His generosity abounds for us in blessings! He willingly gives to us without us knowing that we even needed it. A person taken aback by this revelation is the same way with his/her time, material possessions and realizes nothing is given to them without a purpose to assist others lying somewhere in that blessing!

What does your posture reveal about your daily intake of God's Word? We can bend over for many external things: bowing, tying our shoes, reaching for something, sneezing, etc. But only what we allow inside of us has the ability to keep us in a bowed posture; I submit we continually feast on God's Word and watch what it does to your life posture!

Promo Video - Dating Deceit

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Purchase your copy of the Dating Deceit book! 

Dating Deceit-My 1st book

Sixteen years ago when I first began to blog, I was encouraged to write a book by my college roommate, but it was a fleeting thought!

Three years later, I set up a website to post my devotionals and blogs and was encouraged again, to write a book. But this time the thought was accompanied by great fear!

November 2016 will mark 2 years since I began the fearful pursuit of actually putting my heart into a book instead of just a bog. Many people have visited my blog site where I share the challenges that God has used to grow me. But today, I'm humbled to express that one of the toughest journeys I've had to pursue in faith, has come to fruition!

Get a copy of my first book, here!

This book, Dating Deceit is an account of the various lessons I've learned from my own dating experiences! The main verse that runs through the spine of the book is "Guard your heart...for from it flows the issues of life!" Proverbs 4:23
This command is echoed in each chapter as I lay out practical advice the Lord has taught me. My prayer is this book will encourage and challenge the woman who desires to please God in her current relationship or even the woman who desires to be wise as she is pursued by a suitor. Knowing I haven't done it all correct myself, (i.e.: I've left my own heart unguarded) I seek to assist women who may be doing the same, unknowingly.

I look forward to hopefully sharing my heart with women as I attempt to shed light on what Gods Word says about guarding our eyes, our lips, our ears, our thoughts and our lives...ultimately our HEARTS!

Won't HE do it? #PassportTestimony

So I just HAVE to share this story b/c when God flexes on your behalf, you just HAVE to show Him off!

I read this story yesterday about a young lady (who happens to be a Baylor Bear #sicem) that was on a trip (outside of the country) and lost her phone (which held important info and was her contact to her family). She prayed it would be found, but after a few days got comfortable with the thought that it might be lost forever. The guy who found it threatened (to another person) he would not return it unless "God told him to" and later himself confessed (both to the confidant and eventually to the young lady) that somehow he was moved to return it. Upon returning it, he asked about this "GOD" she believed in and later trusted Christ as his Savior. I was amazed at how God could use such a small "loss" to impact a life.

Well I have a trip out of the country scheduled in a few weeks and was getting my papers in order when I realized my passport was misplaced. Frantic to find out that it was NOT in the files that I keep all my important documents in, I ran through my (terrible) memory to try and think back to where else it could possibly be? Got my sister in on the search as we ruffled through box upon box in my garage. Nothing!

A few nights ago, I went online to see what I needed to do to report a lost passport and started through the online steps (which included a 12 step headache...just so you know). $160 later (just for the rushing component), I realized that I would be required to soon shell out an additional $170 for the processing alone. Blood boiling at the thought of losing over $300 (unplanned), I set to pulling out documents such s my social security card, birth certificate and my destination itinerary. The final step would be to take a passport photo at my local Walgreens ($15) and then call www.RushmyPassport.com at their 1-800 number.

Late Sunday night, I happened to be up praying for a friend of mine and the Lord put the whole passport business on my heart. I let out a sign and without words simply thought "Lord, if you could just help me find my passport it would be great b/c I really don't want to pay all of this money". I fell asleep within a minute of that thought.

SO...today after work, I took care of the passport photo and with reluctance, dialed the number to the company. The guy on the phone said..."Since you don't have your documents in front of you, why don't you call me back when you get home." When I arrived home, I prepared collected my documents and something said, 'just go look through all those boxes one more time'.

So I summoned the assistance of my brother this time. Went out into the garage, and immediately my an old purse caught my eye. It was sitting open on top of one of the boxes. (Now mind you, my sister and I shuffled through these very boxes two days prior). I went straight to the purse and stuck my hand in ...the passport was sitting right inside!

I quickly called the 1-800 number back and told them my story. The lady on the phone said, "Ma'am you had three business days to to cancel your order and you called back right in time. I will make sure you get a refund and cancel your order."

When I tell you a burden has been lifted!!?? *shaking my head. The former story of the young lady who loss her phone was an encouragement to me to pray about my passport. I pray I can pay it forward and my testimony will spur YOU on towards praying for something (seemingly small) and watching God move on your behalf!



Lesson Take-away(s):
1. God hears even the little things we pray for. Nothing is "little" or trite to Him. Trust Him with it.
2. Details are important to Him. He orchestrated the timing, the calls I made and even is responsible for the thoughts I had to pray about it and to go back and search...more specifically the purse!
3. God has purpose in everything He does...especially if that purpose is to cause us to lift Him up!

Looking in others' windows

In my junior year of college, I lived off campus and walked to a few of my classes. One afternoon, returning home from a class, I passed up a few cars parked along the road and one in particular caught my attention. Not because of the make and model of the car, but because of what was inside of it. It caused me to stop and pause, starring at the contents wishing what I gazed at, were mine. Not long after that, I ended up starring so long that I caught a glimpse of my own reflection in the window's mirror-like qualities. Seeing my reflection snapped me out of my trance and caused me to reflect on something less superficial than my face -my heart.

Much like this trance I was caught up in, time and time again, I have found myself mesmerized by what other people have. It's gotten quite redundant and annoying. I'm not one to get caught up in material things, or so I'd like to think; so I had to put my finger on the pulse of my heart. If I continue to get envious when others obtain things and then throw my pity party before God, then what am I saying?

I'm admitting that I'm discontent with what I have, that I am ungrateful for the things I have been allotted. I'm spitting in the face of the God who sees me (Genesis 16:13), the One who gives "good gifts" to His children (James 1:17, Matthew 7:11).

I was watching the Steve Harvey show the other day and a couple was sharing the pain they were experiencing from infertility. They couldn't understand why (in their words) "God was punishing them" by not giving them what they wanted. A guest couple that Steve had on the show, shared these words of consolation to this grieving couple:

"My husband and I went through the same thing years ago...we felt the exact same pain and as I sat in church one Sunday, I cried out to the Lord, "Why are you punishing me?". Weeks later, I went in for a routine check up only to find out that at 33, I had breast cancer. I was fortunate to catch it in it's primary stages and doctors were able to ensure that no trace of it was left in my body. It wasn't until after that season, that I realized our inability to have children was God's way of protecting me as I went through cancer removal. Not long after that, we conceived."

I'm sure the couple was touched to hear a warm story, but I was deeply moved as it reminded me of God's "gifts". How God knows all things and more than giving us "things", he desires to protect us- that's His greatest gift. He wants to protect us from the temporary and eternal destruction of sin just as He desires to protect us from the envy and callousness "material things" can bring. Often times the plethora of things can distract us from God's purpose for our lives.

It's not so much that He longs to keep "things" from us, but to keep 'things' from having us is His desire. He knows that with character, we can handle 'stuff' and He can entrust us with more when we are good stewards of what we currently possess.

No more should my weak, fragile prayers sing out "Everyone else has it...why is it 'they' can have it and I cannot?" No more should I spit in His face with my longing for the things I see others obtain. Instead, I should look upon what He has satisfied me with and be grateful. I should rejoice over the fact that He has trusted me to be a steward over what I already have. The much deeper thought of what He could be protecting me from, should bring solace in my heart.

Discontentment and envy will always be our enemy, but gratitude and stewardship can not only keep our enemy at bay, but eventually demolish it.

Wanting Chic-Fil-A...on a Sunday

I know you're all too familiar with this feeling, right? Riding down the highway, hungry! Then that soft crispy yet juicy chicken comes to mind. You imagine it draped in a warm buttery bun or dipped in the Original sauce while shoving salty waffle fries down your throat. Immediately your heart races with excitement as you think about pulling over to the first Chick-Fil-A sign you see gloriously raised up high. But then a moment later, you are overcome with sadness as you remember, ...

TODAY IS SUNDAY!


From there you're forced to settle for whatever else because, well, nothing really beats the craving you just had for Chick-Fil-A. I get it, I've been there too many times and as a matter of fact, sometimes it seems I tend to want Chick-Fil-A only on Sundays (when I cannot have it). This is how I feel about trying (in my own strength) to please God. We end up frustrated and upset, only to find ourselves falling prey to our own sins.

In the same way many of my friends have pursued Entrepreneurship through these partnership start-up companies that encourage and promise personal success and financial freedom, I have begun a pursuit of my own. They are fueled and driven to be financially free therefore they exude this confidence and authentic passion revolving around autonomy and purpose. Their goals are set high and their future is in clear view. This motivates them to maximize their time and even practice resilience when presenting others with the same opportunities! I envy this passion, I desire to emulate these behaviors even, but my pursuit is predicated on a spiritual partnership with a desire to live in a different type of freedom. Yes, much like this Entrepreneurship movement that has taken my generation and social media by storm, I have had a craving to experience freedom from the nasty habits that rear themselves in my life from time to time.

Now, while I understand that my freedom has already been purchased by Jesus' death on the cross (1 Timothy 2:6, Galatians 5:1) which means I am free from the penalty (eternal punishment) of sin AND...that I won't be completely free from sin's presence until I cross over to eternal life with God, I do know that I can please God more (sanctification/living in freedom from sin's power) and sin less & less while He still breathes breath into my body. So I finished up my study of Elijah and Elisha (in 1st and 2nd Kings...which is full of amazing gems of timeless truths and life applicable stories, by the way) and was excited to start a new series of study. That key to spiritual freedom is found in Romans, so this has provoked my study of Romans 6-8 (our freedom from sin's control, our continuing struggle with sin and how we can have victory over sin).

So far, I've come to grip with 2 things:

1. I have to look at my sinful desires as if they're dead to me. So I thought about that. How do I think of 'dead' things? Well, I remember when my family dog died and even though I wasn't too connected to her, when I heard the news, I was taken-a-back and actually shed a few tears. But I didn't think too much about her after she was buried. I didn't try to feed her or let her out to play, because I knew she was no longer there. Then I thought about the passing of my father (in 2011) and how grieved I was to lose him. How every now and then, though I can hear his words he's spoken to me, be reminded of him when I smell a man who wears his same cologne and even sigh when someone tries to offer me banana pudding [because no one (I mean no one) made banana pudding like him], I'm no longer calling him to ask for advice, nor am I looking for him to check my oil and tire pressure. Both of these 'deaths' teach me that once something or someone was died, we change our behavior towards them. We treat them as if they can no longer do things for us...because they can't. That is exactly how our sin needs to be treated. As if it can no longer satisfy...because although it feels good, it isn't satisfaction (or else we wouldn't need to go back for it again). ~Romans 6

2.  Trying to follow laws (do's and don'ts) is NOT the way to please God. Let's go back to the Chick-Fil-A sign. That look on Snoop's face symbolizes the disdain and hurt we feel when we realize that heavenly place isn't even open on Sundays. Why the hurt? Because we realize we cannot have the very thing we want. The sign and the place aren't bad (God forbid if someone were to speak ill of Chick Fil A), and as a matter of fact their purpose of being closed on a Sunday is honorable! But the thought of it reveals the inability within us to not be able to satisfy our cravings. In the same way, God's law is good (the Old Testament ones, the Levitical laws, even the Ten Commandments and things Jesus cautions us against in the New Testament).

But those 'rules' only reveal within us the desires we have to break them! When someone tells a toddler not to touch an electrical socket, it only temporarily shows him that that is a 'no-no'. He will later go back and attempt it again, because his curiosity lures him back, yet this time he will look around because he knows its "wrong". God saying "do not..." does not stop us from our desire to do...much like God saying "do..." does not compel us to do. He isn't moved by our ability to keep his rules because He knows we're too frail to be consistent. At some point we will look at Him like Snoop is looking at Chick-Fil-A...frustrated and discouraged. Furthermore, doing all of His "do's" and NOT doing His "do nots" only confirm that we are trying to pave our way TO HIM! This takes the beauty and power out of what He did FOR US by sending Jesus to pave that way. So instead, I must depend on the work of Christ (through the Holy Spirit living in me) to obey. This way, love and gratitude motivates me! ~Romans 7

I remember holding down a temp job in college to pay for my books and small fees. I worked for an intercollegiate mail company. My job was to sort the incoming mail to prepare it for going out to the many places on campus. Well, my boss was a no-nonsense tyrant. Rude, loud, condescending and had  little to no people skills. Now i'm sure her "anger" and low tolerance was never really aimed intentionally at me, however it sure didn't feel that way. Each day was drudgery as I endured an easy job yet with the worst of conditions. Inside, it made me bitter, dull and with little desire to do my best over time. All of these behaviors were contrary to my personal work ethic and character. *Long story-short, I ended up praying against those feelings and attitudes, sharing the Gospel with her only to see her heart change right as my semester ended.

Recently, however, I've had the privilege of working alongside some women (of position) who have a sweet, God-loving spirit. Who value integrity, embody passion and are empathetic to those who serve under their leadership. The character and work ethic of these women fuel my own personal character and work ethic because they too believe in structure, excellence and servant-leadership. How much more have I found myself able to excel as an employee because of these women? How compelled to give my best, not because they require it of me, but because they require it of themselves and thus set an example for me! THIS is how we stay free from sin's grasp. Not by obeying a set of rules, but because of renewed minds and hearts that overflow with love for what Jesus did, can we live unresponsive (dead) to the sin that tempts us daily.

Where Am I?

Have you ever been in a place and wondered where you were? You know, the moment you wake up from that amazing nap that must have truly knocked you out because you begin looking around as if you have no clue where you are! Or perhaps you've gone on a trip with someone and they refuse to share with you where you are going and as you check out every turn they make in the car, you can't recognize what side of town you are on.

Or you might be like me, in a season of your life where you decided to follow God on a journey of obedience and faith and now you find yourself in the middle of a "storm" of sorts. Caught in between saying "yes" to Him and wondering where the alleged 'blessing' is that's supposed to come from your obedience. You feel trapped behind your willingness to blindly trust His direction for you and silently wishing He would just get you out of the situation the quickest route possible. You know it's best if you ride this season out and learn what He wants you to learn from it, but you secretly hope it's over soon because it just doesn't feel good.

I'm there. And yet I'm still questioning "where am I?" As in, what is this place I'm in and why? What is this season supposed to be teaching me besides the obvious? If it's faith, don't I have that already? Can I learn this lesson another way? I found comfort in my line of questioning when I came across a name-less girl in 2 Kings 5.

The story is intended to be about a mighty army captain who has a terminal disease but goes to get healing. But if you read too quickly you'll miss the two verses that mention that this captive who has been living in enemy territory boldly speaks with faith to the mistress she serves. Why is she so important? Because she is the very one who suggests that this army captain (who does NOT worship the One true God, by the way) go be healed by one of Gods servants.

I submit that God didn't cause her to be kidnapped from her country and held captive in enemy territory but that He did allow it. That He strategically ensured she would be placed in the vicinity of this army captain who was prideful and respected yet had a great need. He knew that if she was there, she would boldly & confidently speak of what God was able to do for him and this idol worshipper would seek healing and eventually become a God-fearing man.

Where was she? She probably didn't know any more about her placement than you or I do. But what she DID know was what she had seen God do for her people. What she did focus on was the opportunity she had to speak about Gods ability. She was faithful where she was and because of it, God was able to reveal Himself to a nay-sayer and turn him into a Believer!

You may not know where you are or why...but be encouraged friend...God has strategically placed you there for a purpose. Be faithful and watch what He does...not just for you, but for others He has placed around you!

Who can find a virtuous woman?

Who can find a virtuous woman?

Better yet, who is even looking for one? As in, what type of man, in his task to "find a wife" , is actually searching for a virtuous woman to be his "good thing"? This isn't a rhetorical or trick question. I'm literally wondering whether men are interested in virtuous women anymore. Or, is cute considered more highly than character?

It's futile to imagine an ungodly man even finding value in a virtuous woman...at least not for the kind of virtue that comes from within. But I submit this question to my Brothers in the faith. The ones who have trusted Christ as Savior, who frequent church not just for what it gives but for what you contribute to it. Yes, to those men involved in ministry; whether in a church or parachurch ministry, those whose hearts desire is to seek and follow Christ. To the Pastors (single), church worship leaders, bible study facilitators and those "called to ministry".

Did you know are the highly sought after men? The envy of and topic of conversation of plenty of women who are a part of a singles ministry, book club or female prayer circle. You are the pinnacle of her dream and expectation. When she reads "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart" or "Every good and perfect gift comes from above...", she's imagining this godly man being sent to her. She's anticipating you will be the Prince she has saved herself for or whom God is blessing her with, as a King would for His Princess.

But when I speak with guys who I've served with in ministry and ask them what they are looking for in a girlfriend, you'd be shocked what I hear. I rarely hear him mention her character or virtue. Typically the first few qualities fall under the category of physical appearance and what she can do for him (i.e.: make him smile or laugh). When I survey the gal pals my guy friends (who have walked with the Lord for years) bring around, my curiosity is peaked.

I'm not trying to judge but the comic strip bubble that appears over my head is,

"Seriously?....her????"

What I really mean is "How is it that the very men who are the envy of my bible study groups, the twinkle in the eyes of single women serving in the same ministry along side them...are interested in a woman who could care less about church?"

I'm not saying church saves a person or makes them a Christian...any more than being in a garage makes someone a car. What I baffle and marvel at is the ironic and perpetual cycle I've witnessed time and time again. The ideal godly husband "wifes" (verb: to wife = to court and eventually marry) the seemingly ungodly or random woman who starts frequenting church because she's now dating
him. All the while, the woman chasing after God and serving Him faithfully, in her singleness, looks on while every man who serves alongside her(the very ones she views as potential), doesn't even notice her.

So I took to Twitter with this question. The responses I received (from married, single, men and women...all Believers) were quite interesting:

"Yea, I'm wondering how chicks like Meagan Goode get swept up by Pastors like Devon ...., while I'm serving in ministry and can't get a text back." A.H

"A godly man is seen as a blessing (to women), where often a truly godly woman is seen as a burden." ~A.B

A modest appearance, unpronounced sexuality, and allegiance to "another man" are not high selling points for most men. ~A.B.

Women are more likely to celebrate a man's desire to follow God because it looks different: monogamy, building, preparing, loving. ~A.B.

Ultimately, God knows 'who' (and what) we need. S.C.

God works in men's hearts just like He does in ours. JR

Are the standards of "women in ministry", unrealistic?

Guys like a chase...some who is mysterious. If they feel like they got it all right there, then there's no fun. Basically they want someone outside of what they do everyday, someone who has seemingly different interests.

Don't get discouraged, godly woman, "Do life"...with God.

Is it men (in ministry) are intimidated to by women who are also in ministry?

We want the dude who got his stuff together and can lead us. They want the chick who they feel they can lead and not be put in their place by.

Some dudes just want to know a girl is 'down' and cool, and if they love God then that's a great addition!

Do sisters and brothers in ministry get "friend zoned"?

Are men scared away by sistas in ministry?

I'm not proclaiming nor writing this piece to present a resolve. I've seen plenty of men in ministry "find virtuous women" and pursue them. I love when I see them serving in ministry together and observe him valuing his mate for her character and virtue. I pray that should I ever marry, this will be true of the man who pursues me! I can say this, though with sheer confidence: I "dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly trust in Jesus' name!" So although I'm simply curious about this concerning pattern I see, I don't base my hope on what I see. I trust that God stays in control and trust His plan for me.

To my Brothers in the faith, I sincerely hope you are in search of a virtuous woman! They still exist!

Feel free to leave your thoughts, opinions and disagreements in my comment section!

The "I wanna ....but I'm trying to live right" STARTER KIT

Let me set the scene: You slept through your alarm and are rushing to get ready for work. Running noticeably late you rush out of the house only to realize you can't find your keys. After several minutes of searching your room and tearing up the house and finding them in the most unlikely of places you arrive to work late. The first person who meets you reminds you of how tardy you are and proceeds to rattle off all of the things you need to have submitted by the pending deadline. Already disgusted by your morning, colorful words flash across your inner forehead and you form your lips to verbally dispose of this person.

Before you spew your serving of choice words on them, let me assure you we all have been there. You are not alone friend. Our humanity subjects us to a variety of starter kits (if you will) for living.

What's a starter kit? Let me show you a few examples.

A starter kit is a set of essential items and instructions for taking up a particular activity for the first
time. So here you see a starter kit for a college student. Essential items that define a typical freshman or sophomore? Netflix to pass lonely hours, water ...well because it's water; Ramen noodles because
there's nothing more healthy and cheap than a balanced meal, and of course a wallet starving for you parents' monthly deposit.

Here's my favorite starter kit:

Now, we have legit snow days once every blue moon, but these are truly the essentials for a snow day (or any day below 30 degrees in Houston, for that matter). All that to say, we all have our own self-induced or culture-taught starter kits. 

We have essential items we choose to implement when there's a problem looming in our lives. It might include curse words, retaliation driven by anger, aggression and hostility. Or if you're like me, the starter kit when your at your wits end might entail silent treatment, withdrawal, ignoring others and thinking rude thoughts as a form of  expressing my frustration. But the Lord offers a different starter kit and even cautions us against reaching for our worldly starter kits.

2 Corinthians 10:4-6 

"But we don’t live or fight our battles that way—never have and never will. The tools of our trade aren’t for marketing or manipulation, but they are for demolishing that entire massively corrupt culture. We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ. Our tools are ready at hand for clearing the ground of every obstruction and building lives of obedience into maturity." (Msg)

Paul encourages us to lay down our worldly starter kits and pick up a different set of 'what he calls 'weapons' (plans and methods). He goes on to suggest that Gods starter kit consists of prayer, faith, hope and Gods Word. These essential items (for the Believer) will destroy our lofty ideas about our plans for our lives, our rebellious attitudes towards Gods way and prevent us from becoming so vile that we interrupt people from experiencing Gods love through us. 

I'll end with this story. I gave His starter kit a try when I entered a new, unexpected season of my life. I'll be honest my first instinct was to reach for a starter kit that encompassed a critical spirit, negative mindset and lips of complaint. And I followed that instinct and activated that starter kit until I was convicted and the Holy Spirit reminded me that there is purpose in every season of my life. It was then that i shifted gears and picked up the starter kit from 2 Corinthians 10 and began to activate those items each morning. I prayed for wisdom, strength and favor, faithfully each day. I went into my day expecting those items to come from God in everything I did (faith). I anticipated results based on His promises/Word not my actions (hope). I decided to love those in my sphere of influence. In a short amount of time I began to see change in the situation around me, but more importantly change in my attitude and mind concerning the situation. 

Yes, we are human...but that isn't an excuse to use human methods to fight our daily battles. Gods mighty weapons in His starter kit are strong enough to face our human issues. 

Follow the ants...

As I sat in the car repair shop waiting to get my brakes changed, I was distracted by something I found interesting.

Initially I was disturbed when I looked down at my feet and saw a trail of ants, after all I regularly come to this same location for its cleanliness, timeliness and the efficient work they do at a reasonable price. It was obvious however, they had not vacuumed their carpet mat the night before, because crumbs from the cookies they serve, were waisted by some customers' kid and the ants had scouted the small mess and began their journey. I saw two or three carrying their own remnant of the crumb pile and it led me into what turned into an hour of watching them go back and forth diligently storing food.

My plans to get some work done were thwarted primarily because the Internet had gone down at the place and so I allowed myself to get swept up into watching these ants labor. I couldn't help but notice they weren't distracted by the busyness of the carpet fabrics or even placement of the cart I had rolled in and sat not far from their path. Why weren't they crawling up the coffee table or the chairs that stood in their path? Right then in there, I learned a valuable lesson about ants...they ARE, in fact, very diligent workers.

I realized, then, why God uses so many scriptures in Proverbs (the book of wise advice) to teach us about diligence, strength and wisdom. These seemingly small and weak creatures possess a work ethic that is worth emulating. I began to think about my goals and the purposes God has for me...represented by the path and pile of crumbs the ants pursued. Then my mind traveled to the distractions that easily get me off of my path which can include anything from vain material desires/pursuits to sin (Hebrews 12:1-2 calls it the sin that so easily entangles us).

These thoughts humbled me...and taught me the ants were making a trail more than just for food...they were creating a path that we, as Believers, should follow!

"go to the ant, o sluggard, consider her ways and be wise. Without having any chief, officer, or ruler, she prepares her bread in summer and gathers her food in harvest." Proverbs 6:6-8

"The ants are not a strong creature, yet they provide their food in the summer." Proverbs 30:24-25