All aboard!

One of my peeves (and I'm sure I'm not alone in this) is getting caught by a train when I'm in a rush headed somewhere. What's worse is when I catch the front part of the train; you know the part where the red/white crossing guard rails lower and the engine to the train comes roaring by.

This is the most crucial part because the entire time, what I'm really waiting for is the wonderful feeling I get when the caboose (or last car) is in sight, signaling the END of such a torturous wait.

Symbolically, in my life, I've been witnessing this same paralyzing (yet timeless) truth. The irony in the gap between what I know and how I feel and the painful wait that lies between that gap.

The other day, I had to pray about an issue I was dealing with and although I KNOW that God knows what's best for me; I KNOW that His desires for me are better than the things I claim I want; I BELIEVE He is in control of my future pertaining to this situation, I still wanted to pray for what I wanted. And (honestly) I still did. But tears came flowing as I closed my prayer with words similar to Jesus', "....its not about what I want,...do whatever you see best for me."

Why the waterworks? Well because although my mind knew all of those things about God's best, His ways being better than my own and all of the things I've learned about trusting His way, my feelings and emotions just weren't there yet. You see, the engine of a train pulls and drives the speed, direction and actions of the train, while the caboose comes along much later and really has no bearing on those elements. However, we find ourselves very much driven by our emotions and even guilty of making decisions based on our feelings. A mentor once spoke such wise words to me when she said, "Kim, don't allow your feelings (the caboose) to lead your train." In other words, lean and depend on the WORD that you have hidden in your heart, your feelings will eventually catch up later. There is a great gap that lies between the truth of God's word (what we know) and how we feel about it. Don't allow your feelings to lead your decisions. Let truth rule!

I'm not sure when my feelings in this situation will line up, but for now, I feel like I'm sitting at the crossing guard rails of a train, while I wait for God's word to reveal itself in my life. And it will! Once it does, I know that my feelings will get on board and I'll be ready to move to the next 'trial' in my life, only to be tested with trusting God yet again!

~Be encouraged!

A mistake? Or for His Name sake?

Growing up my mom bought me a play computer that taught typing games. Being the nerd that I am, I would sit in the backseat on road trips and use the typing book, position my fingers and complete typing games trying to beat my high score. This resulted in a love for typing. The great thing about typing is regardless of how fast I type, the backspace button was built in for my mistakes. The creator of the keyboard foreknew and thus planned for mistakes. I love this!

Are you ever pricked by the thorns in your life? Taunted by the mistakes you've made; so much so that you believe that a mistake in your past has kept you from achieving a desired outcome or goal?

I've made plenty of mistakes I often mentally revisit and grieve over. I don't dwell on them too long because I'm aware of my forgiven state and how mercifully God has casted those things as far as the east is from the west, but during those brief moments I'm pricked. I begin to wonder whether or not those mistakes prevented me from experiencing a particular blessing or missing a specific opportunity. Just before it begins to worry me, I snap out of it, but not before the thought of whether that opportunity will present itself again, lingers.

Then I begin to think about Moses in the Old Testament; he murdered a man and despite the insecurity this brought him when asked by God to complete a huge task, it didn't prohibit God from asking Him. Why? Because it was in his destiny/plan for his life that he partake in the delivering of God's people from Egypt. Shortly after his mistake or maybe even for years after, he too may have wondered if he missed his purpose in life. Whether or not he passed the opportunity to marry someone, or should have given up his royal status. It wasn't until he ran into the burning bush that he discovered his purpose and realized that his mistake was all calculated into the plan.

^" Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tried and chosen you in the furnace of affliction. For My own sake, for My own sake, I do it [I refrain and do not utterly destroy you]; for why should I permit My name to be polluted and profaned [which it would be if the Lord completely destroyed His chosen people]?" ~Isaiah 48:10-11 [amplified]

 

While it may be true that your mistake delayed your goal or even diverted your plan, the truth is God already pre-calculated your mistake into His plan for your life. Be encouraged that though we (His children) suffer consequences for our mistakes, those mistakes are like refiners fire...capable of manipulation in the Master's hand. He uses and pre-calculates our fallen nature and its capabilities into His grand plan for one purpose only...that His reputation might be credited. Isaiah says he keeps our mistakes from destroying us, because He desires (as an end result) that it lead to testimony of His goodness!