Who can find a virtuous woman?

Who can find a virtuous woman?

Better yet, who is even looking for one? As in, what type of man, in his task to "find a wife" , is actually searching for a virtuous woman to be his "good thing"? This isn't a rhetorical or trick question. I'm literally wondering whether men are interested in virtuous women anymore. Or, is cute considered more highly than character?

It's futile to imagine an ungodly man even finding value in a virtuous woman...at least not for the kind of virtue that comes from within. But I submit this question to my Brothers in the faith. The ones who have trusted Christ as Savior, who frequent church not just for what it gives but for what you contribute to it. Yes, to those men involved in ministry; whether in a church or parachurch ministry, those whose hearts desire is to seek and follow Christ. To the Pastors (single), church worship leaders, bible study facilitators and those "called to ministry".

Did you know are the highly sought after men? The envy of and topic of conversation of plenty of women who are a part of a singles ministry, book club or female prayer circle. You are the pinnacle of her dream and expectation. When she reads "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart" or "Every good and perfect gift comes from above...", she's imagining this godly man being sent to her. She's anticipating you will be the Prince she has saved herself for or whom God is blessing her with, as a King would for His Princess.

But when I speak with guys who I've served with in ministry and ask them what they are looking for in a girlfriend, you'd be shocked what I hear. I rarely hear him mention her character or virtue. Typically the first few qualities fall under the category of physical appearance and what she can do for him (i.e.: make him smile or laugh). When I survey the gal pals my guy friends (who have walked with the Lord for years) bring around, my curiosity is peaked.

I'm not trying to judge but the comic strip bubble that appears over my head is,

"Seriously?....her????"

What I really mean is "How is it that the very men who are the envy of my bible study groups, the twinkle in the eyes of single women serving in the same ministry along side them...are interested in a woman who could care less about church?"

I'm not saying church saves a person or makes them a Christian...any more than being in a garage makes someone a car. What I baffle and marvel at is the ironic and perpetual cycle I've witnessed time and time again. The ideal godly husband "wifes" (verb: to wife = to court and eventually marry) the seemingly ungodly or random woman who starts frequenting church because she's now dating
him. All the while, the woman chasing after God and serving Him faithfully, in her singleness, looks on while every man who serves alongside her(the very ones she views as potential), doesn't even notice her.

So I took to Twitter with this question. The responses I received (from married, single, men and women...all Believers) were quite interesting:

"Yea, I'm wondering how chicks like Meagan Goode get swept up by Pastors like Devon ...., while I'm serving in ministry and can't get a text back." A.H

"A godly man is seen as a blessing (to women), where often a truly godly woman is seen as a burden." ~A.B

A modest appearance, unpronounced sexuality, and allegiance to "another man" are not high selling points for most men. ~A.B.

Women are more likely to celebrate a man's desire to follow God because it looks different: monogamy, building, preparing, loving. ~A.B.

Ultimately, God knows 'who' (and what) we need. S.C.

God works in men's hearts just like He does in ours. JR

Are the standards of "women in ministry", unrealistic?

Guys like a chase...some who is mysterious. If they feel like they got it all right there, then there's no fun. Basically they want someone outside of what they do everyday, someone who has seemingly different interests.

Don't get discouraged, godly woman, "Do life"...with God.

Is it men (in ministry) are intimidated to by women who are also in ministry?

We want the dude who got his stuff together and can lead us. They want the chick who they feel they can lead and not be put in their place by.

Some dudes just want to know a girl is 'down' and cool, and if they love God then that's a great addition!

Do sisters and brothers in ministry get "friend zoned"?

Are men scared away by sistas in ministry?

I'm not proclaiming nor writing this piece to present a resolve. I've seen plenty of men in ministry "find virtuous women" and pursue them. I love when I see them serving in ministry together and observe him valuing his mate for her character and virtue. I pray that should I ever marry, this will be true of the man who pursues me! I can say this, though with sheer confidence: I "dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly trust in Jesus' name!" So although I'm simply curious about this concerning pattern I see, I don't base my hope on what I see. I trust that God stays in control and trust His plan for me.

To my Brothers in the faith, I sincerely hope you are in search of a virtuous woman! They still exist!

Feel free to leave your thoughts, opinions and disagreements in my comment section!