What it means to be weak

Crutches are often seen as a tool that causes others to recognize the weakness of a person who has experienced an ailment. But when a tree leans on it's supports, it's actually seen as a growth tool. Well crutches are to a ligament what supports are to a tree trunk. The crutch isn't a weakness so much as it is a tool to support a feeble muscle or tree trunk during it's growing process. On it's way towards being strong, it needs support. God wants to be your strength, but you must first allow His Word and your faith to be the crutch that causes you to be "weak" (lean on Him rather than on your own understanding and ways).

I've learned, as a Believer challenged to walk out my faith, that weakness is welcomed in the eyes of our Savior. As He desires to be so much more (our Lord), He exemplifies such weakness in His own 33 years of life.

• When He often stole away to pray or spend some time alone. Luke 5:16

• When He was tempted by satan in the wilderness, yet leaned on the Word from His Father for strength to resist. Matthew 4:1-11

• When He faced death in the garden and pleaded to His Father to "let this cup pass" yet was equally able to surrender to the point of admitting His willingness to allow His Father's will be done over His own. Matthew 26:39-40

These examples have become evident in my own life as I've figured out that faith is more than a belief (for even the demons believe and tremble). Perhaps my faith was only tremble-worthy for so long, because I'm encouraged when I think about the weakness I experience when given a chance to take a step in faith. It's no coincidence that Paul says that he can boast in his weakness, because it's in that time that he finds immense strength 

(2 Corinthians 12:9-10). 

How does one find strength in weakness though? How does one turn away from the pride of wanting to be self-sufficient and instead embrace the weaknesses hidden within the faith walk? Much less, how does one submit themselves to face weakness long enough to experience the strength Paul speaks of?

Well having lost a majority of my possessions in the recent Hurricane Harvey floods that occurred in Houston; things like ottoman, armoire that held clothes, clothes that hung low in my closet, shoes, containers that held jewelry, bed frames, box springs, mattresses, couch sets and coffee tables, towels, washer, dryer, refrigerators, etc.  It's been an humbling situation. I feel like my helpless nephew. I know how to go out and purchase those things again, but the frustration of where to begin sets in; knowing that this was years of possessions accumulated, all lost in a few hours of torrential rain.

This helplessness has caused me to cry out to the Lord in faith. Not knowing how to restore 2 lost cars, a lost home, and possessions needed to fill a home. Where do I begin? So many people asking to help, but not knowing how to solicit their support. The overwhelmed pressure to move out of our displaced house (where we've imposed on family for weeks) and into our own space. The constant pull of various claim adjusters and insurance companies calling your phone or loan officers asking to support you. You fluctuate between whether to ignore calls or answer and when you answer, who do you trust? This is the nature of being weak. Knowing you must make informed and confident decisions, but unsure whether you are doing it correctly.

Then as you call out to the One you know as Savior- who has promised that when you call on Him to forgive sins that He will remember them no more and see you as forgiven. But you experience that He doubles as Lord because He has been working behind the scenes of your life- ironing out the details while you sleep at night. He has actually taken the driver seat and taken you for a ride that you had no idea would encompass such breathtaking scenery. I prayed for certain things before I even knew of an approaching storm. Secretly lifted up desires and needs to Him and yet had in mind how He might bring those things about. But never would I have imagined that He planned to answer those very requests, yet without my input on how He'd bring those answers about.

Yes, I desired to buy a house some years down the road, and take care of my mom by moving her in with me. Yes, I wanted a deeper level of faith in what I know He says to be true. Yes, I want people to see Christ in me daily as I serve them in love. But He would see fit to use a devastating storm to level everything I owned and make me trust His way completely with my hands behind my back, unable to participate in His plan.

Now, finding a home to purchase has nothing to do with me, except to look (knock, ask, seek...Matthew 7:7) and my mother's home is gone so she has to stay with me. His way.

Now, I'm in a position to trust He will provide for me everywhere I look. No trust in my finances or income. The deeper level of faith is staring me in the face. His way.

Now, people look at me week to week and see the sincere smile on my face and hear the joy in my voice and wonder how I can feel at peace when I've lost everything. I get to tell them that My God has me taken care of and that I didn't loose my life so I'm grateful. His way.

This is the strength that is found in being weak. I can stand with Paul, today and say...with the outpouring of support that has surrounded me and my family...the tons of gift cards, donations of new beds, refrigerators, washer/dryers, dressers, full living room sets...all given graciously by people who barely know my mother and I- that I am strongest, when I'm weak! For the Lord has encouraged me that He WILL provide for my family. That I don't have to worry about finding a home within my budget that suits our desires and needs, because He's working that out in the same way He had dozens of people think about my family without my knowledge. He placed us on their hearts and prompted them to give. If He does that, how much more will He provide all things we need? Matthew 7:11

The Wake of Harvey

Typically, I cringe when I think of visiting the wake of a loved one. Seeing their body, possibly, one last time before their casket is closed and their remains are tucked 6 ft under isn't the easiest thing to view.

A week ago today, Harvey took the life, as it were, of my mother's home. It's day-to-day items, furniture, memorabilia, cars and even hoarded belongings, all lying in a casket of bags waiting to be wheeled away and never seen again.

I remember it like the week was only a day ago.

We returned from the safe keeping of my brother's home in Cypress, thinking the storm hadn't proved to be as monstrous as promised. We figured we would wait it out at the house and if (unlikely) any water seeped in, we could be there to whisk it out. So we placed our heads on our pillows around 8:30 Saturday night and listened to the rain as the sound rocked us to sleep. However, that same sound that was just a soothing sound, now startled us and woke us at 1am to find it's constant downpour had covered the surface of our street. It wasn't anything we hadn't seen before yet we lay away listening for hours as the intensity of the downpour was relentless.

 Only two hours later, the water had risen to the edge of our yard which sat up on an incline. Again, not too concerned as we had seen this before and could only hope that soon it would die down and the water would recede. But that was not the case. For 3 more hours it pounded down and the levels rose to our front door, which was remarkable seeing that our house sat on an incredible incline. Now, at 6am, we were faced with whether or not we should do as the News Anchors suggested (stay settled, b/c a little water in the house isn't a big deal) or retreat to a 2nd floor/higher ground which would have to be a neighbors house because we reside in a 1 story home.

We put up, high, the last bit of furniture and belongings and unplugged items before quickly packing essentials and watching water slowly seep in. At this point, we tried calling the posted emergency numbers:
211
311
911
Coast Guard
All of which didn't respond. So we tried our neighbor who happens to be a church member only 6 houses down because she owns a 2 story house. Unable to even contact her, we had to think quick, the water in the house was rising. Undecisive, we stood watching in amazement as the rain thundered down even harder and we knew our window for escape was closing. Our neighbor called back and told us we were welcome if we could make it.

So we took to the window in the front room of the house, opened it, kicked out the screen and the water was there to greet us as we stepped out into knee high rain water. Onto the porch, we shuffled out into the pouring rain and high water strategizing on how to cross the driveway which held a swift current. Creeping along, we held on to branches as the water grew towards our waist and we worried whether we would make it past 6 houses and driveways. We looked up, one house away, and saw some neighbors standing on their 2nd story porch watching us traverse the waters. We begged to join them up high and they welcomed us.

We climbed into a window that sat about 3 feet off the ground by climbing onto a chair they passed to us to place in the 2 feet of water. Climbing into their window we stepped down onto another chair and into the 2 feet of water that had filled their bottom floor. We settled in a bedroom upstairs as they gave us towels to dry off. For the next 8 hours we watched rain fizzle down and heap with intensity, praying the waters would recede, but losing hope as there seemed to be no way out. During those hours, I watched from the balcony of their 2nd floor, neighbor after neighbor leave their home and wade into the waist high water, Westward with their most valued belongings on rafts and inflatable air mattresses. My curiosity was piqued. Where were they going? To a neighbors house with 2 stories or to a safer place? As I glanced down the street in the direction of their travels, I spotted green patches of grass and vehicles not bothered by the rain levels. Could this be a beacon of light and hope?

I devised a plan. We could climb back out the window and wade down the street to this mirage of safety and possibly get a friend to pick us up and whisk up to dry ground. But could someone even find their way to our neighborhood or was the entire subdivision and surrounding areas as flooded as our street? Unsure, I called a friend who lived nearby what she thought and she jumped onboard my plan by saying her neighborhood was untouched and they could possibly make their way to us, if we could wade to the end of the neighborhood.


Eager to not be trapped, we climbed out the neighbors window, waded to our house to try and gather some food that was higher up before retreating from the neighborhood but were met with dangerous feats. First, we opened the door to our flooded house to find smoke filling the living room. Realizing the water had covered the still-live outlets, we felt it too dangerous to proceed and quickly closed/locked the door. We continued our trek in the pouring rain to the end of the street where the water had gotten considerably lower and eventually was walking on unflooded concrete. But my friend was no where to be found and we worried who would rescue us now. Desperately, I flagged down a truck as we stood in the blinding rain outside the neighborhood and it pulled a Uturn to come see about us.

Not knowing we were looking for relief, for they were only searching for food, I asked if they would be able to transport us a block away. In all kindness and sincerity they allowed us to hop aboard the back bed of their truck and whisked us away to my friends dry home. There we were fed and in the meantime, my brother was able to use his phone app to search for dry streets to make his way to us. Now 5pm, and soaking wet, we were finally on the way to my brothers side of town where it was not raining nor flooded. Finally able to take showers and find comfort in clean dry couches, we laid down our weary bodies and rest our worried minds.

From this adventure, though the sound of rain still brings somewhat unsettled hearts, we are left visiting the wake of those things lost. With the sun providing some sort of consolation for the next few days, we were still starring our things in the face as they lay out on the front lawn of our once peaceful dwelling place. We still wept as we traced our steps and glanced over the memories of once laying our head on that bed or sitting on that soft couch being swept away by the the show that once shown on that TV. We reminisced as we tossed out pots and Tupperware that once served to hold hot the food that fed and comforted us. The nostalgia in our minds and hearts lingered as we stuffed large garbage bags with the things we once held dear.

The most popular used scripture at funerals for Believers in Jesus Christ is 1 Thessalonians 4:
13 And now, dear brothers and sisters, we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died[a] so you will not grieve like people who have no hope. 14 For since we believe that Jesus died and was raised to life again, we also believe that when Jesus returns, God will bring back with him the believers who have died.

The verse is meant to comfort us when we lose loved ones. We don't have to mourn as if we will never see them again, because if in fact they are children of God and we too have given our lives to the Savior, we will be reunited in Heaven some day. I experienced this type of comforting feeling when my father passed away. Yes, it was a difficult time to lose someone close, but I didn't have to be overcome by grief because I knew he was in a safe place, able to be delivered from his health issues. And one day, when I too pass away, will be in the same place as he is.

This helps when thinking about lost belongings as well. The things purchased are temporary. They aren't meant to get attached to. They're lost but can be re-purchased and life anew can begin.