This ain't no cake walk!

My life, lately, has been cray!

I can't begin to explain the struggles I deal with financially, the people I deal with who reveal my lack of character and unexpected family strains I'm facing after the loss of my dad.

When people told me the Christian walk was a marathon, not a sprint, I took it with a grain of salt.
After having been 'in the faith' for some 20 years now, I wouldn't consider myself a baby but I sure ain't no giant either.

At first, Christianity is a lot of hype. The focus is on being saved from eternal seperation from God! Its' about the hope of spending eternity with God! It's the joy in knowing your past sins have been erased!!

But as the years go by, and you fall in pits of new sinful habits and find yourself needing accountability, counseling and extreme measures like fasting to break free you begin to realize one of two things:
1. Just how great God is for loving you despite of who you are
2. Just how sinful you really are (if you didn't have a sober view of it before)

In addition to that, lets add on the day to day issues that arise and the natural urge to fix those issues in ones natural power.

I'm guilty of all of the above and yet the Holy Spirit livin within me has been patient to remind me of several things:
1. There is no condemnation when it comes to God (as it pertains to my sin)
2. God is able to meet my needs according to HIS riches
3. I need not worry about tomorrow, ...or worry period about the needs in my life

Each one of thes truths has been proven over and over and God has flexed His power in my life through them. Of course this doesn't come without the agonizing and mental toil of wanting to handle things in my own strength or the strain of beating myself up over my mistakes. But through each one, God reminds me that He is faithful even when I am faithless. He also used each and every circumstance to increase my 'mustard seed' faith.

This walk is certainly not for the faint at heart. I dare not paint the picture that it's bright lights and smiles 24-7. But I do know that it's a loving journey that I do not regret for one second. The hope & joy I have is overwhelming and contagious. I do want others to walk this walk. But I realize just why the 'road is broad that leads to destruction with many on it; while narrow one leads to life and there are FEW who travel by it.'

Gay Gene

"This is the lifestyle that was chosen for me"
"God made me this way"
"I'm just being who I am"

All statements I've heard from those who have chosen what is known as an "alternative lifestyle". My heart breaks as I watch loved ones try to find love and ease in life by chosing same-sex relationships.

For years, I have tried to understand their point of view and with empathy tru to encourage them otherwise, but in the end I find a few truths to be evident:

1. No sin is greater than another. (All have sinned and fall short of His glory (Rom 3:10))
God sent His Son, Jesus, for sinners...not the perfect/self-righteous. We all have lusts that we give into, so there is no judgement in my heart & I want to make sure I say this lovingly.

2. When God sent His Son, He sent Jesus to save us because He knew our defiled hearts and corrupted minds needed rescuing. Rescue from what though?

3. From the jump, God created male & female. He knew it was "good". But He isn't the only one...his arch nemesis, Satan, knew this as well. And as with any enemy, attacking the heart of the one you hate, is the ultimate revenge; and so his plan ensued. Satan decided to attack God's heart - the male/female He created and the plan for marriage and procreation.
In efforts to attack and get back at God, Satan counterfeited God's original ("good") plan and created his own (male with male, female with female) and called it good.

Now, the world (an organized system set up to offend and oppose God) has bought this plan and called it good as time wanes. Our thoughts are not like Gods (as God knew they would be Isaiah 55:8) and so we adopt whatever futile ideas 'make sense'. No longer is God's will central, but man's will is! We have bought into Satan's plan, offended God's original agenda, done what is right in our own eyes and thus Satan is seemingly getting revenge on his enemy through God's very own people.

Real talk, the plan doesn't take much. When you're dealing with prideful men with lofty thoughts and defiled hearts, we are really chasing our own sinful, built-in desires. Satan only needed to lure us towards it, convince us to bite and before long sins nutrients are coursing through our veins.

Can I blame those who chose this alternative lifestyle; or judge them for that matter? No. I have foolishness, murder, hatred, envy, and EVERY WICKED  DESIRE wrapped up in my own heart.

A homosexual life is only one component of our sinful nature (Christian or not). What part of your sinful nature have you chosen to be enslaved to?

Daily, I fall prey to Satan's lures and my own lusts. It's nothing but God's relentless love that causes me to repent and keeps me sober from wandering too far from Him.

This same love, God expects us to have it when we deal with others.

So, God made us in HIS image...not 'this way'.
Satan distorted and counterfeits everything God made as 'good' in hopes to turn God's people against Him.
You are NOT being 'who you are'...because God has a greater purpose for you than your own life.
This is NOT the life chosen for you...God has a plan for your life! (Jer 29:11)

In love with a Stripper!

Sound absurd?

I'm thinking about a different type of stripper. When you think about a paint stripper, its job is to penetrate the paint film, causing it to swell; this volume increase causes internal strains, which, together with the weakening of the layer's adhesion to the underlying surface, leads to sepearation of the layer of the paint from the substrate.

In lamens terms, when you need to seperate the paint from the object which its been applied, the stripper goes inside the film of the paint, causing it strain and creating a swelling effect. This tension weakens the  adhesive power of the paint to the object and leads to a seperation between the two.

In our lives, due to our void that needs to be filled, we seek for temporary things that cause momentary satisfaction and pleasure. Watching, participating, listening, hanging around, inhaling and spending time with these things cause an adhesion of sorts between us and the substance or person that we get addicted to.

Jesus Christ is the great STRIPPER! No, not the kind you find on a pole, but the One who goes inside the believer, through the power in the Word of God and the conviction of the Holy Spirit and He causes strain. He creates a dissatisfaction with that very thing which seems to bring pleasure to us. As we are led to spend more time with Him, or hear (through song) His words of encouragment; or speak to people who share their testimonies with us, our desire for that temporary pleasure begins to weaken. Over time through prayer (whether that of our own, or that of others), seperation occurs and we find ourselves able to say "no" and resist the urges of our flesh.

Yes, Jesus is the one we should be in love with. Why? Because He loves us so much that he desires and has the power to seperate us from the things (and people) we foolishly adhere ourselves to!

#WhoIsTheMole?

If you're like me...you have become attached to the Scandal sitcom and its racey plot. Or maybe the characters and their twisted personalities yet smooth speech and suave outfits catch your eye. For whatever reason, Scandal has been the hot topic of Thursday nights. I'm sure most of you "Gladiators", like myself, want to go looking for Shonda Rimes when you hear that we have to wait another 3 weeks before another new episode rears its head! Like ugh!!! We LIVE for Thursday evenings and I even forfeit my early bedtime of 9pm to hold my eyelids open just 1 more hour...but its worth every 60 of those minutes!

Getting on Twitter (@Lady_JAG) and tweeting with my other fellow gladiators makes it all the more exciting! There is one thing that disturbs me though...seeing other believers take the plot and meaning behind the series, a little too close to heart. Often times, it is dangerously unwise to take issues and quotes from a secular sitcom and apply them to life. As true as things may seem and as good at it may feel to us, as believers we MUST seperate sitcom from reality. (sidebar: There are times we must even seperate Reality TV from reality)

Simply because our world is an organized system that has composed views, thoughts and values that oppose our Savior's, its all the more imperative that we adopt the mind and heart of God so that when we DO watch these "juicy" evening soap operas, we can still view them from a godly worldview.

Last night's episode was great...heart racing & I'm curious like all you gladiators-- Who IS the mole? But in that, watching the President (Fitz) choose his mistress over his wife and running the country-- well simply put-- wrong is wrong. WE are the mole if WE are guilty of treachery enough to deny the righteousness Jesus died for us to obtain and instead choose the desires/lusts that still dwell within our flesh. Many Christians desire the affair between Olivia and Fitz to "work". But in real life, if YOU were Mellie and made a commitment to YOUR husband (relationship gone sour or not)...would YOU want the mistress to "win"? Of course not...no woman I know would!

Anyways that's my soap box. God's word is still truth and although we have the freedom to watch what pleases us, its pertinent that we use our freedom wisely. Christians in particular need to watch from a different viewpoint and remember not to connect our personal lives nor live by what we see. Though I was disgusted at the Presidents' behavior, I am still very much in tuned to what might happen in the final episodes! See the difference? Enjoy the Finale!!

Goodie Two Shoes

The persecution of Christians dates back to the time of Jesus but its not uncommon to see just as much persecution of Christians today! In other cultures, Christianity is the "underdog" of religions, if there were such a thing. Think about it, no one wants to believe, let alone claim, that Jesus is THE ONLY way to (a relationship with) God. But that's only one of many truths people are afraid, or too prideful in their thinking to believe/admit.

Persecution, however, doesn't only emanate from unbelievers! Shocking? Well, understand that when Jesus guaranteed that believers WILL face persecution, he didn't exactly specify where it would come from. I find it ironic that even believers who have boundaries and standards get persecuted by other believers who choose to live life THEIR way.

Talking to some fellow believers about a job that was offered me some months after graduating from college, I relayed that the company offered me the position as long as I was willing to lie on the results that I would report. I declined the job based on integrity and you would be amazed how many people respond opposed to that decision with comments such as "girl, if the pay was good I'd lie my tail off!" Though I understand the sentiment and would so desire the same, my desire to please Christ would compel me otherwise.

As a believer, (one who grows in their love and respect for their Lord, understanding who He is and what He desires of them and trusting in that)... should your morals reflect the truths in scripture, you can expect that even your fellow brothers and sisters in the faith might throw persecution your way. You might be looked at as "goodie two shoes" or "holier than thou" rather than just a believer who loves the Lord. Sure execution or imprisonment might not be the result, but expect to be shunned, talked about, and find yourself with fewer and fewer associates/friends. Its' a hard reality to face, but it comes with the territory!

Fat meat greasy

One of my co-workers used to say to our students, "they gone learn, fat meat greasy!". For the longest I just laughed because it sounded funny, but I had no clue what he was talking about. Finally, he broke it down for me. It's an urban slang meaning people will find out the hard way that something is true or going to occur. I'd like to think if Jesus was a bit urban He might have said it when warning people that their selfish ways are going to get them no where!

When I saw the movie Flight, it was tough watching someone as brilliant as Denzel's character struggle through life getting high, drinking everytime he was sad or lonely and all to drain out the real issues he was afraid of dealing with. In the end, it caught up with him and he realized facing his issues truly brought him solace. So why go the long way around?

 

Similar happenings in the new Tyler Perry movie. Chasing after foolish gains (drugs, promiscuity, riches, drunkeness and parties) that you KNOW won't satisfy, yet misled by the promises of what the world has to offer. Only to have the fruits of your labor turn out sour and rotten. Various times in Ecclesiastes, Solomon refers to chasing after such things as meaningless. Then why do we see it as tittalating? Yes, the arousal is enjoyable for the time being...but while the world is captivating our cravings, its also showing us how vile and corrupt it will leave us in the end.

Ponder on all the celebrities who chased money and fortune, yet ended up strung out on drugs, lonely and abused. Let the cry from their tragic stories ring louder than the screams of their fleeting fame! God's way may seem prudish, boring and mundane...but the person who loves you wants life and sincere peace for you. He surely won't force you to take that route, but you better believe fat meat greasy!

Heart Patient

 

Ever had someone just piss you off? Not necessarily because they did anything personally to you, but just because of their mannerisms and how they behave. There was someone I had to be around for a long period of time and the more I was around them, the more I found myself struggling to think straight without being completely disgusted and distracted. Everything they did from how they walked to the way they interacted with others was so putrid to me! I couldn’t stand their laziness, lack of work ethic, inability to be assertive and constant nagging and whining.

At one point, I chalked it up to the fact that I was simply better than they were. After all, my personal ethics were together, I took initiative and kept my mouth shut when things didn’t go my way. It was evident I was the better of us two. Or so I thought. One day it hit me. I was the disgusting one. My true heart was exposed as I looked with disdain upon this person. My heart was filled with hatred so clearly I wasn’t as ‘perfect’ as I thought I was. Before I knew it, conviction set in and I was challenged to talk to God about my own sick condition. Daily, I questioned ‘what was wrong with me’?

 

A few weeks later, I heard about a bible study lesson being taught that seemed to ‘hit home’ in the very area I was struggling with. So compelled, I attended and of course I got slapped up, down, side to side and pretty much every which way with the Word. Convicted, but encouraged. I was challenged to examine my own heart, and address the issue in a godly, practical way. Extend mercy, be kind, treat fairly…all things I certainly did not FEEL like doing.

Less than a week later, I was faced with a chance to be alone with this person. Over a forced conversation, I learned some personal things about them and as I listened, my heart felt deep compassion for them. The emotion was real; I can truly say it was not self-induced. It overwhelmed me and I felt myself enter unfamiliar territory. Somehow, I was obliged to encourage them as well as pray for them.

I’m not sure how a surgeon takes a bad heart and exchanges it for a better one, but I know THE HEART SURGEON can take a wicked, filthy heart and somehow infuse it with His forgiveness and tender compassion, making it brand new and cause it to beat for others. I’ve bee a patient under His scapel…